One Can Only Dream…

So sometimes our dreams take twists and turns that feel so real, that even after being awake for several hours you still remember them as if it actually happen. Today I’d like to tell you all about my dream from last night.

Much of the beginning of the dream is a haze. What I do remember is being in a mall and seeing Jack Harries from afar. Except of course i had my hair in a bun, was in a bathrobe and slippers. Needless to say I was not in a condition to be in public much less to meet Jack Harries. All of a sudden I get a text to my phone that Jack had just tweeted. He had played a prank posting a picture of a girl that looked like him as a “selfie.” I laughed and kept walking. Somehow walking out past the doors, transformed me. I was decently dressed to be in public now. I keep walking and suddenly I see Prince William (yes the actual Prince Will of England). He seemed super nervous for something and surprisingly I was able to stop close to him, and I said “Don’t worry. Take a deep breath and everything will be fine.” I have no idea what he was even getting ready for but he smiled and thanked me for the encouragement. I was now in a parking lot and I kept walking. Suddenly I see a small group of people with a camera facing a bus. Inside there he was again, Prince William. Except he was on the phone and yelling and hitting the poles of the bus. No idea what was happening so I stayed and watched. Somehow I was standing next to the bus door and when it suddenly opened and he ran out towards me, it scared me so I screamed. He went behind another bus while the whole crew around and myself started laughing. They explained to me how he was playing a practical joke on someone. (I know the dreams is full of pranks and weird things) So i begin walking behind the bus and he’s there crouched down, so I take a seat with him. He apologizes for scaring me and begins talking to me as if we were old friends. He thanks for me for all the kind words and that he was thankful I had been there helping him through it all. And then somehow my parents show up and I’m giving them looks like ‘DO YOU SEE WHO I’M TALKING TO!!!’ But my mom gives me a look of like ‘really? him? he’s not attractive at all.” And I’m like “Mom, Dad, meet Prince William. THE PRINCE WILLIAM.” And finally they’re both like “OH!” So then after making a fool of themselves they disappear. So I keep talking to Will and I’m like ” I’d just like to say, with all due respect, Kate is just absolutely beautiful. Like stunning.” And he’s like “She is isn’t she?” And I’m like “YES! Flawless. And her fashion sense is just perfect.” And he’s like “She really is beautiful.” And I’m like “And honestly she looks like she is just so kind.” And he’s like “She is a absolutely lovely. Kindest woman I know.” And basically we were gushing over how perfect Kate is. And then as I asked him for a picture, and he agreed, I woke up. Saddest waking up I’ve had in a while.

Hope you all enjoyed my crazy dream. Feel free to share some of yours.

Much Love Always,

xx

Brits vs Americans

Good Morning Everyone,

So let’s talk about one of my favorite subjects today…BOYS! More specifically, I want to explain to people why British boys make girls weak at the knees and what makes us go crazy for them. Now I am basing my comparisons not only based on the American boys I personally know but also American Youtubers and Celebs to British boys I’ve met and Youtubers and Celebs. This post by no means applies to all boys and it is simply my opinion, not a worldwide accepted truth. I can classify my preference in British men in three categories: Manners/Charm, Look, and Accent. Allow me to explain.

Manners/Charm

While there are plenty of American boys with good manners, most tend to either be rude or neither rude nor polite but something in the middle. However, and I’m not sure why, British boys tend to be so well mannered. Not saying they are all super proper and perfect but more likely than not they say “please” and “thank you” and “excuse me.” Plus let’s be honest, even their swear words sound better than ours. The Brits that tend to be more proper usually are the posh ones from London.

Look

There is no denying that in general the Brits have a natural beauty to them. And once their sweet accents reach your ears, your eyes immediately adjust to a a level or two more of hotness. But this category is mostly centered around Fashion. You heard me, Fashion! There is a MAJOR difference between American boys and Brit boys. Brit boys know how to dress themselves. American boys yes you can get dressed up for an event or something but on a day to day basis, a t-shirt and jeans is good enough. And while a Brit boy can wear the exact same outfit, his choice in t-shirts are a bit better, better fitting jeans, and perfect. From an everyday look to a special event, the Brits know a man should look. To me how a man dresses can say a lot about himself. They care about physical appearance but it isn’t everything they think about night and day. While I feel American boys that tend to dress well, more often than not are extremely conceded. ( I know this one from personal experience.) Fit Americans care about every calorie intake and check themselves out in every mirror. (Sure, there is a little exaggeration here but you get what I mean.) Fit Brit boys know how to eat and work out and dress well without that being all their focus. They understand the balance.

Americans:                                                                                        Brits:

  

Even Google agrees. Same outfits, styled completely different and look so much better. Also, I’d just like to add as I googled ‘typical british boy fashion’ and I got countless pictures of One Direction. (Just pointing it out.)

Accent

This one is a given. Every girl and guy knows that as soon as you hear the hint of a Brit accent, knees automatically get weaker and we feel like melting into the ground.

Anyways that’s what goes on in this twisted mind of mine. Like I said this is my opinion and by no means the only right one. Let me know what you think.

Much Love Always

xx

What Has Society Come To

More often than not I find myself yelling at my sister to put her phone down and talk to me. Or looking disapprovingly to my friends who are on their phones instead of watching the movie playing in front of us. And more than anything judging strangers who are sitting at the dinner table looking at their phones. It is so sad how in today’s society your likeness is measured in the number of followers and likes you get. My sister sometimes turns to me and says “I got 100 likes on my insta pic.” And I feel a sadness inside because today’s young girls measure their self worth on how many likes a picture got. It’s no secret that since the beginning of time, young people feel the necessity to be validated by their peers and “friends.”  With the technology today that acceptance can be quantified which only adds to the pressure of being a teenager.

I personally try to live my life balancing both the technology that allows me to communicate with friends who are far, and the day to day interaction. If I am at dinner with someone, you will find my phone in my purse totally ignored. And more and more I try to avoid taking out my camera at concerts because I’ve noticed how involved I get with taking a good picture instead of enjoying the music. So I take a few pictures and maybe record a song for 30 secs and enjoy the rest of the concert. In the back of my mind, I know someone else is recording the whole thing so if I really want to relive it, YouTube allows me to do so.

I just wish today’s generation would realize that there is so much more to life than the brightly lit screen in front of them. For proof that today’s generation is so out of touch with people, allow me to retell an experience I had. I went to the beach with my sister and some of her friends. We were sitting at the beach on a beautiful sunny day with the beautiful ocean in front of us and they were all on their phones. I looked at all of them in complete disbelief. How could they be so out of touch with reality to appreciate the beautiful day in front of them and actually talk to each other. I told them all to put their phones away and talk or play a game. They all looked at me like I had 3 heads. I’m sure the train of thoughts were “Talk to each other. What do you think we’re doing on our phones.” “This girl is crazy. Who even has conversations face to face?” My guesses at least. I can tell  you this, once I convinced them all to put their phones away and play a scattergories style game, we all laughed until our abs hurt. This story just proves one thing, that if people actually take the time to show the young generation that there is more outside their phones they can really interact and enjoy life like we grew up.

Most often, I wish I could go back to being a kid not only because you lived a carefree life, where your biggest worries was doing your cursive properly or your addition homework right. But because that was a time that nothing was a stupid idea and your imagination could run wild. Running outside with your dog was the best time of your life. And playing with other kids was essential. Today’s kids are growing up in a world of isolation where your interactions with others happen on a screen.

So this is what I have to say to older generations, we have an obligation. Whether you are an older sibling, a parent or friend to a younger generation kid, show them what it’s like to live a life where people interaction is normal. And if you yourself happen to live glued to your phone, put it down for an hour or so. I can promise you it’s an incredibly liberating experience. I love traveling abroad for the simple fact that I am forced to rely solely on myself and my ability to communicate with others without technology. You don’t have to get rid of technology altogether but just limit the use of it so you can truly enjoy the life that is happening right in front of you. Go out and live your life! Have amazing experiences alone or with people. Whatever you do, just makes sure you are focused on that and not on the technology you carry.

So after a lot of rambling I shall end this with a perfect quote I read this morning: ” Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” –Ferris Bueller

What Do You Want To Do?

“What do you want to do?” A question we often hear when we are young and starting out our careers. Or a question often directed at kids who barely even know all the options the world has to offer. And a question I’ve struggled with for many years.

Growing up, I felt a strong sense of sureness and that I knew exactly where I wanted to go in life. I wanted to be happy, successful and love the job I did. And that was a good enough thing for me to believe for a long time. When i was applying to college, again a strong sense of sureness filled me and I knew I wanted something in Business. When I got to college was when every ounce of sureness I had, disappeared.

People wanted to know exactly what I wanted to do. They wanted a title to label me as. But the more I tried, the less I felt anything fit me. I was good at accounting but that lifestyle seemed incredibly boring to me. Finance made sense, sometimes. And Economics, forget about it, nothing about it made any sense to me. Yet I persevered and did my best to get a degree. When it came time to decide what I’d be graduating in, Marketing seemed like the logical answer. It had aspects of business, creativity and people all in one major. The field is also sooo extensive that it made sense. Really, it was my cop-out reasoning to not have to label myself specifically just yet. “It’s such a vast field, you can do a lot in it.” Was always my response when people asked me why I’d picked it. Truth be told, I was buying myself more time to figure out what I wanted. But even after finding my “label”, jobs within that field were “vast” that it made searches nearly unbearable.  I couldn’t find anything I wanted to do, because it seemed a lot of Marketing jobs I found were clumped together with Sales. Sales and marketing are as different as apples and pears. Yet in the business world they are often clumped together because they’re “similar enough.”

Now, 2 and a half years after I’ve graduated I think I’m finally figuring out what I want. And as fully expected, it’s as unconventional as I am. From a young age, I’ve been very different from other people and I’ve always been fully okay with it. Self-doubt obviously comes with being human, but thankfully I’ve never disliked myself for being different. While young girls wanted to play with Barbies, I preferred playing mommy with baby dolls and with my dogs. While other girls wanted to be princesses, I wanted to be a vet then a model. When kids were ordering Happy Meals, I was ordering salads from McDonalds. I was never part of the cool kids in high school. And at 23, I love boy bands. Nothing about me has ever been stereotypical or traditional. So it came as no surprise that what I wanted to do was unconventional.

Driving home today thinking about my life and everything I love to do, I started to finally picture my life in a way I’d actually like to live it. I’ve realized planning events is something that will always give me gray hairs but will always bring me excitement and joy. And as much as I’ve abandoned recently my Youtube channel, making videos and feeling like what I have to say might actually mean something to some people, gives me great joy. So, I think the ideal job/life for me would be to do Event Planning part-time and Youtubing the other part. It would give me enough time to do both and I think would be the best of both worlds.

I’m really excited that I think I’m finally finding what I want to do and making goals for myself. Obviously the Youtube thing will only work if people are interested and care about what little old me has to say. But I’d like to at least try. So those are the thoughts running through my head today. I hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you think! Do you have any idea what you want? Any suggestions for me?

Much love as always!

V

Just a Little Something About Love…

If there is one thing I feel I’m relatively good at writing about it’s love. Anything related to love, like, boys, relationships and the whole process of falling for someone is something I can express and love talking about. So it’s no surprise that after reading an article on love, I felt the need to give my opinion on it.

Some friends on Facebook posted this article: Why Casual Dating is Ruining Us All.

Now I have mixed feelings regarding this article. As I started reading this article I was nodding my head strongly agreeing with what the author was talking about.

“We were born into a generation centered on an ever-expanding growth of technology.”

Yes. That is true we were born into a world that is constantly improving technology, creating things we never imagined were even possible.

“Where our parents were wearing each others letterman jackets and mailing love letters, we—yes, the rejected, sad, lonely 20-somethings—are exploring Tinder for “something casual” and staring wide-eyed at the ellipses on our iPhone screens, praying that what we just typed, thoroughly and totally without autocorrect’s help, doesn’t make us sound like the emotional wrecks that we actually are.”

Now here is the first issue that came up on my radar. Firstly, can we just all agree generalizing that everyone has IPhones is just simply incorrect. I am proudly an owner of an Android and getting very frustrated at the incorrect terminology. People need to start realizing that the correct terminology would be smartphones not IPhones. (Sorry for my little Anti-Apple rant)

Secondly, there is a lot of mixed feelings from this point on. I absolutely agree that starting from our generation people are so focused on their technological devices that sometimes people forget there is even life beyond the screen.

The truth is, people are too scared to put themselves out there. Here’s an interesting point regarding that: As I’ve met more and more people in the world from different backgrounds and nationalities, one thing I’ve noticed is very apparent. Typically the people, male and female, who are scared to put themselves out there, in terms of love, are generally Americans. Europeans and Latin Americans for the most part have no trouble displaying emotions. This is true from the moment you meet one of us, we give you a kiss or a hug. We don’t even know you and here we are breaking every boundary of personal space and awkwardness. That automatically puts you at ease and makes you more comfortable to share how you really feel. And as far as the Asians I have met, most of them are quiet but when it comes to relationships they hesitate less to get into them. But Americans seem to be so terrified, as if getting rejected or hurt would tear them apart and end life as they know it. It’s really quite interesting that in a country that fosters so much freedom, the one people seem to lack is the freedom to express your feelings towards those you like. Sorry for the diversion of the topic, back to the article.

And the next few paragraphs go on to describe how much our generation has changed due to all this technology added into our day to day. I will gladly say, I am very guilty of not liking talking on the phone. I prefer to text over calling any day. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that I am dead inside. And if a boy I liked called me, you better believe I’m answering that phone.

The article continues on to describe how because people are scared of commitment and rely so heavily on technology that it’s started a culture of casual dating. Yes and No. I do think the technology can be to blame in fostering this kind of culture. But also a lot of it has to do with personal choices and freedom. We’re not just evolving technology but also every decade things seem to get more liberal and people take advantage of that freedom to do exactly as they wish. And just because you are interested in casual dating it does not mean that you are completely opposed to serious relationships.

I think different moments in your life can reflect your choice in relationships. For example, I am at a point in my life where trying to start a serious relationship is not the best choice for me. So I am in the boat of 20-somethings having fun in casual flings. Doesn’t mean if an opportunity for a serious relationship came up, I’d reject it.

Basically, I think there are people in the world who do both. There are people in world who are too scared and therefore stick to the casual, so they don’t get hurt.  And there are people who would never do anything casual and would only get into serious relationship. I think an article generalizing the entire generation fits into one category is just wrong. I do get that the article was trying to say that the culture we live in now fosters this more laid back and non-commitment choice.

Now comes the part that I disagreed and was almost offended by it.

“But, I propose that those rule-breaking, anarchist crazies are indeed still out there, hiding under a rock, where the shame of their fully-beating hearts aren’t on display for the rest of the robots. And they’ve almost given up. They’ve been burned and bruised, but aren’t quite broken. Let’s be those people, it’s not too late. Let’s refuse to believe that romanticism is dead and buried.”

First off, I am a romantic through and through. (And I think it’s pretty clear based on the entries I write.) So, to say that we are in shame, is just absolutely completely insulting. I am a proud romantic (and I’ve met PLENTY of proud romantics) who has a wonderful life. If anything I try my best to spread the romanticism in this cynical world. It is true that we’ve been burned and bruised and that we’ve gotten close to giving up when things are really bad. But the beauty of it all is, just like a phoenix we rise from the ashes with new hope every time. We hold on to hope and the idea that there is something great and magical out there. And i do appreciate you trying to convert people to our ways. Because honestly it’s a beautiful life. While people ask us how do we do it, the better question is “why don’t you?”

So my rant ends here. And I will leave you all with quite possibly my favorite part of the article.

“So, this is for all the people who ever screamed that they loved someone at the top of their lungs. This is for the people who would tell someone that they’re magic, just so they knew. This is for the people in our generation who don’t like the casual, don’t want the casual, but the oh-so-scary, unexpected, beautiful, ridiculous feeling that comes from loving someone, from being loved. It’s for the people who still believe in love letters and letterman jackets, and the people who ******* call.”

Much love always.

Fate Will Have It’s Way

Hello! 

So I like to think I’m pretty open to anyone who reads this page. Well, today’s post will be another one of those where I open my heart to all of you and tell you what’s really going on. So strap in and let’s go on this ride together.

The past two posts I’ve made have been about a specific boy, and all those posts have been exactly how I feel towards him. I don’t want to give too much detail, because I am afraid of judgement. (C’mon I am only human.) But I will say this, I have seen him twice in the past week and to say it was magical is an understatement. Seeing him makes me feel excited, nervous, butterflies in my stomach and much more. The great thing about it all is as soon as we talk, everything goes away and I am absolutely comfortable. He is an incredible human and I may not know him well enough, but my feelings are true and real. (Gut feelings you know?)

But yesterday, something came to my attention which left me upset, to say the least. It seems, he has a girlfriend. Now, I’m not saying he was actively out there flirting with me, while the whole time he’s had a girlfriend. But there is absolutely no denying that there is something between us. So, as you can imagine this news came as a bit of shock. Like a normal girl, my eyes welled up and there were stings in my heart.

While I thought about all of this, I thought about what this all meant. Because being the person I am, everything in life has a reason to be happening. Suddenly, my romantic side had an explanation. Nothing in life is worthwhile if you don’t have to fight for it, you wouldn’t appreciate it as much. And have you seen a great love story if there wasn’t a struggle/conflict. Now, I hear all the realists and skeptics out there rolling their eyes and saying “oh no, this girl is so delusional.” But hear me out. If you are the kind of person that follows your instincts and gut feelings, you’ll know exactly why I’m saying what I am. When you know, you just know. And you are 100%, absolutely, positively sure. You can’t explain the why, or how but it just is.

So here’s my rational: He’s happy right now and if you care for someone you want them happy. So he’ll be in the relationship for a while. And he’ll learn and he’ll grow and go through everything you do in a relationship. Now I have no confirmed details and I don’t know her personally, but there are a lot of things that I can see as future problems. (Am I rationalizing this for my own benefit? Maybe. Am I giving myself excuses to still believe in this? Maybe.)

But you know what, it’s fine. Because in the mean time, I’m going to sort my life out. I have goals and dreams I want to fulfill in my life. There are so many things in my life right now that just don’t make me qualified to be in a relationship. (That’s the realistic rational Vicky speaking.) There are places I want to live and things I want to do, that being attached to someone wouldn’t allow me to fully enjoy them. I want to live abroad for a year, and long distance could potentially destroy the relationship. So while he’s happily in this relationship, that for my sake, won’t last forever, I’m gonna do me.

And as an individual I think it’s okay for me to say that. To figure out my life first. Having my own life can only benefit me. He’ll find me more appealing and I’ll have my things I can be proud of. Now, I hear many of you saying “You won’t be swearing off guys as a whole, right? You’ll still give other guys a chance.” And the truth is I don’t know. In my (delusional) mind he’s perfect for me and with the way my brain works, I’d only compare him to everyone else. (But you’ve never really been with him, and you’re idealizing a relationship based solely on what you know! Are you crazy?)

Here’s the full truth. In my mind I’ve always had the idea of what a perfect guy for me would be. Or at least what I look for in a guy. Now sure, there are qualities you can’t be sure of until you’re actually with them. But most of my list is actually based on seeing how they are with other people and how they act with strangers.( I think that actually says a lot about a person) So if I I go down my list (maybe I’ll write it out on another post sometime) he basically checks off every single aspect from the ‘things that are necessary’, to the ‘things that I’d really like’, to the ‘these aren’t necessary but they’d be nice’. And I think part of me has always known. I’ve been in long relationships and short ones, and there’s always been things missing. Almost as if my heart was telling me, “he’s not it, there’s someone better out there”. Like, my heart has known it all along that it was him. (Whoa, V what the heck are you even saying. You’re saying this guy you don’t really know is the love of your life? Man, you really are crazy.) I can’t know anything for sure. What I do know is this, life has a plan and fate will play its part. So meanwhile, I’m going to go out and live my life and do what I want to until it’s time and fate brings the right person to me, (Which you seem to imply is him…)

Meanwhile I’ll have my days where I’ll be very sad about the situation, and others like today where I’ll feel motivated. But whatever day it is, I’m going to really live my life. I realize this post to people who don’t know me or don’t understand how I work, may sound delusional and maybe even psychotic. All I ask is that you trust me. But more importantly the message of this post is this: always, always, always look for the bright side. There is always a bright side. Sometimes you might have to dig a little deeper. I’m going to go out into the world, accomplish things that I want to for myself and be proud of it. When the time is right, fate will present my perfect man (which I really hope is actually him) and then I’ll be ready. I think I have rambled on long enough today. Look at that 3 posts, in the same week! It’s like Christmas! (Or the diary of a crazy person!) Either way I hope you enjoyed it! Please feel free to leave comments below!

Much love always! 

xx

V

Is It Really Possible?

In this world there are realists and dreamers, or at least that’s what people say. I believe a person can be a healthy balance of both. For example, I consider myself a mix of both. More often than not, I do go with dreams and taking chances. Because if you live in the “realistic” world all the time, it can get a bit depressing. You need dreams to make you fight for something greater and believe in destiny, fate, and amazing things. That’s my thought anyways. 

Realists often don’t believe in love at first sight, or a lot of things relating to love being much more than just a feeling. The dreamer side of me believes in all that and more. I believe that there is one perfect person for everyone out there in the world. Which is probably why I stress out so much, because I’m in search of my perfect man. Don’t get me wrong, I think there are a lot of good matches out there in the world that you could live a perfectly happy life with, but there is only one PERFECT person for you. 

I say this because I THINK I found mine, except he doesn’t know it. I don’t know him well enough to be absolutely positively sure, the realist side of me says. But in my gut, I know. Which leads me to the “THINK” status I’m in.

Who is this guy you might ask? Well I won’t say much but I’ll say this: he’s wonderful. He’s kind. He’s funny. He’s family oriented. There is a shine in his eyes that shine brighter than the sun. His smile can light up a whole room and make you forget all your troubles. When he looks at you it feels like no one else exists in the world. I admire him. He is talented. His hug makes you feel safe. He’s confident. He’s unique. He has personality. He has his fashion style and is completely unapologetic for it. He’s a reader, an explorer. He’s thoughtful. He’s silly. He’s someone I’d like to spend every day smiling with. He’s the person I want next to me, when I just can’t handle life. He’s the person I want to wake up and realize I’m the girl for him. He makes my heart beat at a million per second. My hands can’t stop shaking around him. He makes me see how beautiful this world really is. And I can only hope one day we can be together and enjoy this big world around us.

You’re probably thinking, is this person even real? Yes he is. Do you know him personally? Yes I’ve met him a few times. Does he know how you feel? Nope. And the reason for that is simple. I want things to evolve naturally from a friendship to a partnership. And when the time is right, I’ll take that chance and tell him everything I did on this post. Just know, whatever happens in this life he will always have a very dear place in my heart. My dreamer side reassures me that this life has great plans for me, and it’s in fate’s way that we will ultimately end up together. For now though, my dreamer and realist sides can agree on one thing, fight for what you want. And I will. 

Much love always.

Those Perfect Blues

The sunlight hits your eyes and you turn to face away from the window. As you do,  you open your eyes just enough to catch sight of a perfect view. A view you’ve always dreamed of. The soft lines of his face lay relaxed as he takes in deep breaths in his sleep. The blanket positioned in the middle of his perfectly toned back, leaving his shoulders bare. His irresistible figure teasing you. His hair messy from tossing and turning through the night. You lay there admiring the boy you love. You enjoy taking moments like this to just appreciate how lucky you really are. To you he looks like the perfect angel that was placed on Earth just for you. The love and happiness he makes you feel is more than you ever imagined possible. You reach out, grab the covers and pull it over his shoulders tucking him into the warmth of the little world your bodies created. You then gently caress his hair, partially to make sure you’re not dreaming and partially because it was one of your favorite things to do. The softness and thickness of his hair prove that this is as real as the air your breathing. A hand gently snakes around your waist and pulls you closer. He opens his eyes slightly to look at you. His eyes are bluer than the sky and shine brighter than an ocean on a beautiful summer day. You get lost and mesmerized looking into those beautiful blues. He places a kiss on your cheek. You lay there in your beautiful home that was all yours with a boy that loves you more than life itself. Everything is perfect. You close your eyes to take in the moment. When you open them, you’re in a dark room. The boy that was laying across from  you is standing in front of you talking to you. You just saw the most perfect life with the most perfect boy you could ever imagine. And you know right then and there that you would make this dream become a reality no matter what it took.

*Play this song after reading:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1oM3kQpXRo*

Written by yours truly. much love always.

I FIGURED IT OUT!

Guys,

I figured it out. I figured out why women are always so worried about ending up alone. Why women rush to get into relationships young. Why women want to get married young. I have found the answer!

The older I get, the more I tell myself I’ll find someone, while an uneasy feeling starts developing in the pit of my stomach. There’s a slight sense of insecurity developing that I might not actually end up finding anyone to be with. Which most people would tell me I’m insane because there are SO many guys in the world, there’s bound to be one out there for me, right?

Well, here’s what I’ve noticed. At work, I am the person who mostly deals with the guests that arrive. Therefore, I am the first to notice if they are attractive or not. This week alone, two guests that I have found attractive have come in through the door. And they were maybe a few years older than me (ideal age for mature serious relationships). And they were either engaged to be married or with someone.

Seeing that less and less of the guys you find attractive are actually available is in fact the reason you become paranoid you will be alone forever. That’s the magic answer. Girls want to get married younger, so they can secure the guy they actually want. They want to make sure they select the best pick, and once they start doing that the selection becomes slimmer and slimmer. And sure these are only 2 guys, but also a lot of my friends have now been in long term relationships. Some friends have already gotten married. And I’m reaching that age, where girls begin freaking out.

If any guy reads this, let me put it into perspective for you. Gym class. We’re playing dodgeball. The two captains are picking all your other classmates and slowly the pool of kids starts getting smaller and smaller. You look around to see you are one of the few still standing there alone. You are not part of a group, part of a team, you are on your own. You think, no one will pick you. You start to feel rejected, sad and alone. That’s how it feels for the rest of us.

Could this be an over exaggeration? Sure. Are there still thousands of single men out there? Yes. Are any of them my type or would fit well with me? I have no idea. And honestly the thing that keeps me going is the fact that I’m a big believer in fate and that things will happen when they’re meant to.

But yeah, guys next time you start to make fun of your friends that are girls who are freaking out about being alone, just know it’s because we feel exactly like I described above.

Just thought I’d share what pops into this crazy mind of mine. Hope you enjoyed!

Much love always.

V

Happy Birthday Little Brother!

Hey hey everyone,

So today has been a weird day. Today is my brother’s birthday. As you may or may not know my brother passed away just this past August. It’s been a hard and strange year to say the least. And today he would have been 22 years old. Now me and my brother are/were 18 months apart. And not having him around has been very strange at times and sad at other times. But his memory lives on, therefore to my family and I, he’s not really gone.

But what’s strange about today is for one simple fact. Most people would assume today would be a horrible day and that I’d be crying all day. And I was actually more sad on my own birthday than I am today. On my own birthday I was sad, because I had another birthday and he didn’t. Which I didn’t think was fair. But today I feel jittery.

The way I chose to honor my brother is to live my life to the very fullest. To do incredible things and appreciate the time I’ve been given. And today I feel very ambitious. I feel like I should be out in the world doing things. Like for example I haven’t made a video in 6 months. Which I have missed. And I have a lot of footage I need to edit. I sort of hate editing, it’s so hard! But today I feel like I could be at home editing videos. Or organizing my room which is a mess, because of the move. Or doing all sorts of other things. So because of all that I feel like sitting in a desk, answering phones is so not how I should be honoring him. And with all that I feel empowered and actually optimistic about the world.

I could be sad and I could be crying all day. But I’m choosing to do exactly what my brother would want. Which is to really live my life and be happy. I am planning exciting things for my life and I want to make them a reality. So I guess for now all I can do is plan. But that doesn’t take away the fact that today I want to be productive in my own life. So it’s looking like my channel will finally have a new video up! 

Anyways, I hope you are all having a wonderful life. And as cliche as it is, you do only live once so enjoy it and live it to the fullest.

Much love always,

V

xx