If there is one thing I feel I’m relatively good at writing about it’s love. Anything related to love, like, boys, relationships and the whole process of falling for someone is something I can express and love talking about. So it’s no surprise that after reading an article on love, I felt the need to give my opinion on it.
Some friends on Facebook posted this article: Why Casual Dating is Ruining Us All.
Now I have mixed feelings regarding this article. As I started reading this article I was nodding my head strongly agreeing with what the author was talking about.
“We were born into a generation centered on an ever-expanding growth of technology.”
Yes. That is true we were born into a world that is constantly improving technology, creating things we never imagined were even possible.
“Where our parents were wearing each others letterman jackets and mailing love letters, we—yes, the rejected, sad, lonely 20-somethings—are exploring Tinder for “something casual” and staring wide-eyed at the ellipses on our iPhone screens, praying that what we just typed, thoroughly and totally without autocorrect’s help, doesn’t make us sound like the emotional wrecks that we actually are.”
Now here is the first issue that came up on my radar. Firstly, can we just all agree generalizing that everyone has IPhones is just simply incorrect. I am proudly an owner of an Android and getting very frustrated at the incorrect terminology. People need to start realizing that the correct terminology would be smartphones not IPhones. (Sorry for my little Anti-Apple rant)
Secondly, there is a lot of mixed feelings from this point on. I absolutely agree that starting from our generation people are so focused on their technological devices that sometimes people forget there is even life beyond the screen.
The truth is, people are too scared to put themselves out there. Here’s an interesting point regarding that: As I’ve met more and more people in the world from different backgrounds and nationalities, one thing I’ve noticed is very apparent. Typically the people, male and female, who are scared to put themselves out there, in terms of love, are generally Americans. Europeans and Latin Americans for the most part have no trouble displaying emotions. This is true from the moment you meet one of us, we give you a kiss or a hug. We don’t even know you and here we are breaking every boundary of personal space and awkwardness. That automatically puts you at ease and makes you more comfortable to share how you really feel. And as far as the Asians I have met, most of them are quiet but when it comes to relationships they hesitate less to get into them. But Americans seem to be so terrified, as if getting rejected or hurt would tear them apart and end life as they know it. It’s really quite interesting that in a country that fosters so much freedom, the one people seem to lack is the freedom to express your feelings towards those you like. Sorry for the diversion of the topic, back to the article.
And the next few paragraphs go on to describe how much our generation has changed due to all this technology added into our day to day. I will gladly say, I am very guilty of not liking talking on the phone. I prefer to text over calling any day. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that I am dead inside. And if a boy I liked called me, you better believe I’m answering that phone.
The article continues on to describe how because people are scared of commitment and rely so heavily on technology that it’s started a culture of casual dating. Yes and No. I do think the technology can be to blame in fostering this kind of culture. But also a lot of it has to do with personal choices and freedom. We’re not just evolving technology but also every decade things seem to get more liberal and people take advantage of that freedom to do exactly as they wish. And just because you are interested in casual dating it does not mean that you are completely opposed to serious relationships.
I think different moments in your life can reflect your choice in relationships. For example, I am at a point in my life where trying to start a serious relationship is not the best choice for me. So I am in the boat of 20-somethings having fun in casual flings. Doesn’t mean if an opportunity for a serious relationship came up, I’d reject it.
Basically, I think there are people in the world who do both. There are people in world who are too scared and therefore stick to the casual, so they don’t get hurt. And there are people who would never do anything casual and would only get into serious relationship. I think an article generalizing the entire generation fits into one category is just wrong. I do get that the article was trying to say that the culture we live in now fosters this more laid back and non-commitment choice.
Now comes the part that I disagreed and was almost offended by it.
“But, I propose that those rule-breaking, anarchist crazies are indeed still out there, hiding under a rock, where the shame of their fully-beating hearts aren’t on display for the rest of the robots. And they’ve almost given up. They’ve been burned and bruised, but aren’t quite broken. Let’s be those people, it’s not too late. Let’s refuse to believe that romanticism is dead and buried.”
First off, I am a romantic through and through. (And I think it’s pretty clear based on the entries I write.) So, to say that we are in shame, is just absolutely completely insulting. I am a proud romantic (and I’ve met PLENTY of proud romantics) who has a wonderful life. If anything I try my best to spread the romanticism in this cynical world. It is true that we’ve been burned and bruised and that we’ve gotten close to giving up when things are really bad. But the beauty of it all is, just like a phoenix we rise from the ashes with new hope every time. We hold on to hope and the idea that there is something great and magical out there. And i do appreciate you trying to convert people to our ways. Because honestly it’s a beautiful life. While people ask us how do we do it, the better question is “why don’t you?”
So my rant ends here. And I will leave you all with quite possibly my favorite part of the article.
“So, this is for all the people who ever screamed that they loved someone at the top of their lungs. This is for the people who would tell someone that they’re magic, just so they knew. This is for the people in our generation who don’t like the casual, don’t want the casual, but the oh-so-scary, unexpected, beautiful, ridiculous feeling that comes from loving someone, from being loved. It’s for the people who still believe in love letters and letterman jackets, and the people who ******* call.”
Much love always.