Inspiration from the Unlikeliest Places

Good Morning Everyone,

As many of you know, last week I was in the sin city, Las Vegas! What an epic trip that was. I even caught myself just standing there thinking “am I really here? Wow!” I am lucky enough to be able to go on trips and have these life experiences and create these lifetime memories, and that is simply incredible.

But one thing that no one expects you to feel in Vegas, I was lucky enough to feel. No I’m not talking about love, haha. I’m referring to this burning desire to fight for my life and my dreams. Over the weekend there I attended Rock in Rio. While at the festival many of the artists performing encouraged us to follow our dreams and to truly never give up on ourselves. You have to fight for what you want, no matter what anyone says. Your dreams can come true with hard work. With all of these speeches and their beautiful songs that followed, the overwhelming feeling I got was enough to make me cry on several occasions.

Some of the songs that were enough to make me emotional was Taylor Swift’s Clean, Big Sean’s One Man Can Change the World, Tell Her You Love Her by Echosmith, and basically every song by Ed Sheeran. The concert in itself was epic but the emotions and drive I got from watching these people do what they love.

It’s just a reminder that you sometimes get inspiration in the unlikeliest of places. And I really needed the motivation to get me back on track. So if you’re in need of inspirations and/or motivation take a look around you and just realize how lucky you are. And then something might unexpectedly inspire you to follow your heart and fight for your dreams.

As always, much love,

xx

My Ode to Tiffany

Hello Everyone,

In honor of spending most of this week in LAS VEGAS, I figured I’d dedicate this post to the person going with me.

Dear Tiff,

Thank you for being the best partner in crime. Thank you for not laughing at my crazy ideas but instead agree to go with me. You never reject a trip idea, and I love you for that. You have given me the opportunity to know what it’s like to go through these major experiences with someone by my side. No matter how crazy or hard it may seem, you make it happen! Vegas has no idea what’s in store for them! Let’s go paint that town red, purple, blue and whatever other color we want because this trip will be our amazing adventure!

Love you always and see you on the other side,

V

Dadbods Really?

Hello Hello,

So I just read an article that is talking about how the new craze is girls loving “dadbods.”

Listen I am all for the whole man body empowerment too. I think it’s great that we’re talking about something that for the most part is not talked about enough. The talk of body shaming women is all over the place and it’s a constant topic of debate. But male body shaming isn’t talked about as much. So I fully support this girl writing this article all about supporting dadbods.

While I support this topic and think it’s great, it should not be generalized as the preference for all girls. The same way it is unrealistic to expect these perfect bodies on women, it’s also unrealistic to expect washboard abs on men. But that does not mean that we don’t want a fit man. Personally, I’d like a guy who goes the gym as often as I do (3 times a week) but isn’t going to be devastated if we go pick up some junk food or has to skip the gym a day. I by no means expect a perfect body, but I’d like a healthy and fit bodied man.

Her description was of a man who exercises regularly yet isn’t afraid to drink or eat. And I’m absolutely on board with that description, however the pictures they attached to her description, is not at all what I picture. A guy can be unafraid to eat and drink how much ever he wants, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they have a gut or a belly. All I’m saying is a guy can be a regular looking guy without having a belly or a gut. Just like women, guys have a variety of body shapes and sizes that classify what normal looks like.

Bottom line is preference. My preference happens to be a toned and healthy man. He doesn’t need to have the perfect abs or veins popping out of the muscle, because honestly that is not only intimidating but unattractive. I would like a man to care about his appearance and put some effort into keeping himself healthy the same way I do. I am not a health freak or a gym freak, but I like feeling good about myself after a nice work out. And I would love to have my husband be a hottie and still fit after 20 years of marriage. It’s not completely unrealistic as I’ve seen plenty of dads with nice toned bodies. But if it happens that after 20 years he starts getting a dadbod that will make sense because he will be a dad and I’ll be sporting the mom body. So with the logic of “you already get a preview and no surprises” sorry to tell you it probably won’t stay the same. And wouldn’t you want the two of you to grow old together and grow into older bodies together? I know I do.

All in all, men love your bodies too because they are great. If you have the “dadbod” know that there are plenty of girls out there who want you exactly as you are. Guys who go to the gym every single day, there are girls out there for you too. And the guys in between who have a fit body but don’t feel the need to live at the gym, Hi! And guys who have a lot more of you to love, there are plenty of girls out there who would love to cuddle the heck out of you. Whatever your body type, be proud. Know that we don’t expect you to be a male model or be perfect, because your imperfections are exactly what make you relatable and approachable.

Much love always,

xx

This Body Shaming Needs to STOP

Hello Hello,

Last week I saw a lot of articles on one specific topic that really bothered me and I feel the need to address it. Body shaming. We live in a society that thinks it’s okay to tell girls what they can or can’t wear. Meanwhile, boys get no such regulation. It is now prom season and we’re seeing all over the country girls being turned away for the most outrageous things.

On one case a girl got turned away for showing her shoulders. You read that right. HER SHOULDERS!  What is so sexy about shoulders? We all have them, and the last time I checked men and women’s shoulders look pretty much the same. On another instance a girl’s back was showing through a key hole back. Guys, this means there is a hole in the back of the dress that shows a small part of the middle of the back. Again, boys have that too and no one is stopping them from showing it. And another case was simply because she was plus size and showed a little bit of cleavage.

Now listen, I do agree that girls should not be attending a school function with what looks like a bikini strung together by a tiny piece of cloth. But I believe that because I think girls should look classy on an important night. They should look and feel as glamorous as if they were walking the red carpet. But schools seem to think that a little skin is automatically a reason to shut them out from their own proms.

Sadly, it doesn’t just stop at proms, it applies to school too. Again, I agree there should be some set of rules. For example, for boys it’s no hats, and no clothing that represents gangs. See the theme there, preventing a violence association and hats indoors can be seen as disrespectful. Now the girl’s list of requirements happens to be ten times as long. No girl should be wearing booty shorts and a bra to school, mostly out of respect to themselves. But at the same time, who are we to shut down that person’s fashion identity. And while the guy’s requirement reasoning is violence prevention, the girl’s requirement reasoning seems to be to not distract boys. And that reason infuriates me. Women were not put on Earth to serve men and be the object of their sexual desires, we are human beings too with our own lives. Yes we need one another to procreate and we are attracted to each other (or maybe not), but what women wear should not be judged by the “sexualization” factor.  The fact that our clothing is too distracting for boys at school and therefore we are told to change is absurd. How about instead of making girls change their clothes, we change boys’ minds? How about we teach boys from a young age that girls are not their servants and don’t wear their clothes for them? I know you’ve probably read this a million times, but I honestly can’t stress it enough. The problem is not with girls, but with boys. And to be honest, sometimes it’s not even the boys fault but society and the older generation’s fault.

To prove this point, I read an article that not only made me sick to my stomach but it made me so very mad. A little girl wore a beautiful rainbow dress to pre-school. She was told to put a t-shirt over her dress and jeans under. Mind you, the dress was a maxi dress with spaghetti straps. She is 5. FIVE. 5 YEARS OLD. That is an age where boys and girls physically look almost identical. And to be quite honest, that’s still a phase where boys think girls have cooties. Why are we teaching young girls, as young as 5, that it’s not okay to show your shoulders or wear a dress? WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE! I can’t stress enough that this girl is 5 YEARS OLD! And honestly, it doesn’t matter if the girl is 5, 15 or 50 we shouldn’t be dressed according to what men find sexy or not. That’s absolutely outrageous.

So school administrators and boys, I have one thing to say to you: what we wear is for us, it’s what makes us feel good about ourselves and expresses who truly are. I urge every girl to stand up for herself. I urge parents to stand up for your kids. Because in this day and age, we should not still have to worry about body shaming women. The media does that plenty with all the technology available. The last thing we need is schools body shaming girls and making them feel less than what they are, beautiful.

Much love always,

xx

A Letter to a Funny Man

Dear Funny Man,

This letter might seem odd, but it reads only the truth. I first saw you while I stood in line waiting to get myself a drink. I looked in your direction and instantly thought you were attractive. My overprotective brain, however, immediately dismissed you for your height. (Which by the way I am totally okay with!) Little did I know I was walking into your show. Your lines and routines made me laugh. The music played in the breaks and you began dancing.  I was hooked. You danced like no one else was in the room and you were having the time of your life. I wanted to join your little world and dance carelessly with you. It was then that I realized I was smitten by you. At some point in the show, you happened to look in my direction. I believe we made eye contact because the electricity I felt within me was real. And that could have only happened if our eyes had truly met. I couldn’t stop gushing over how cute you were to the girls. Much too soon the show was over. But much to my delight you announced you’d be outside mingling. I thought this was my chance to meet you in person. And I was not disappointed. My girls brought you over to me and we said our first official hellos. Butterflies took over my insides as I felt as giddy as a little girl. I looked you straight in the eyes and saw not only a beautiful man, but a beautiful soul. I clung to every word you uttered and laughed at every joke. I found myself wishing the rest of the room would disappear and we could have a proper chat. I also got a little jealous when other girls were yelling that their friend found you attractive too. The saddest part of the night was having to leave. I hope we meet again Funny Man. And I hope this time we get to really talk. I’m intrigued by your humor, and by the little of your life you did share. I will patiently wait and hope that life will bring us together once more. Until then, take care Funny Man.

With much intrigue,

Lover Girl

12 Picture Tips for Men’s Profiles

Hello Hello,

So recently I was talking to my friend about men’s profiles on apps like Tinder and Happn and on dating profiles. One thing we both agreed on is the fact that men don’t know how to market themselves. Now, before you jump on my throat for saying ‘market’ let me explain this. Every single day, we pick the best outfit or attitude to portray ourselves. We essentially market ourselves to the world every single day. And the great thing is you can express yourself in whatever way you want, sending out whatever message you would like.  But the truth is this: if you are on a dating website or on an app to meet girls, you need to show off yourself in the best way possible. Most men have no idea how to pick the best pictures to represent themselves, so I devised a few tips to help! Now, you may read this and agree, disagree, use it or not, either way I just wanted to offer this in case you did need a little guidance.

1. Include solo pictures, but not super close ups.

Listen we love to see you have friends. But we don’t like playing guessing games. If we can’t figure out which one you are in your group photos we just will say no. We need clear solo pictures of you. We want to see your pretty face, but not to the point we can see your pores. Pick good individual pictures to show you off.

2. Fashion sense is important.

My friend sent me a picture of a guy that was clearly from the early 2000s simply from his attire. Women are attracted to a men who know how to dress themselves. Therefore fashion is important because it makes us think you got your stuff together. Whatever your style is, dress appropriately.

3. Don’t flex so much. 

Look, we get it, you go to the gym and you’re ripped. Trust me when I say, we can see your biceps in that short sleeve shirt. You don’t need to put it all on display. Let us find out about your six pack after we start dating. Leave some mystery. It’s good to know you are active, but honestly we can already tell from your physique. (Don’t forget every woman is basically the best detective out there, being so obvious offends us.)

4. Girls in pictures hinders more than helps.

Unless the woman in your photo is your mother, grandmother, godmother, aunt, sister or another family member don’t put them up. I know it’s shallow and you may think you look cool being surrounded by girls, but the truth is you don’t . It makes you look like a player and a d-bag. Girls with little clothes, makes us actually think less of you and therefore like you less. Even if both your goal and the girl’s goal is a one night stand, we still want to feel special. Just avoid girls in pictures. (This may not necessarily reflect your real life, you may have tons of really good girl friends that we may end up loving but give us a chance to meet them in person first and not through your pictures.)

5. Too much partying = no love for you

We like to know a guy has fun and knows how to party. But if every single picture you post is of you partying and drinking, that tells us you’re irresponsible and you don’t care about anything else other than partying. And sorry to tell you, we stay away from that.

6. Headless torso pictures sends one clear message.

We’ve all see the headless torso pictures, and no I’m not referring to a mythological creature. From those kind of pictures we understand you are only interested in one sole purpose. And if you don’t care and that’s exactly what you want, by all means ignore this one.

7. Include interests.

When we see these pictures we want to understand a little more about you to see if we’re a match beyond superficial. Give us pictures of things you like to do. Share with us some of your interests. We want to know you’re a dynamic person.

8. Pets are always a heart melter.

By now you should know most girls love pets especially if they’re small or young. if you have a dog, cat, turtle, rabbit, sloth, or whatever as a pet show us! Dogs or cats are guaranteed to melt our hearts! It shows us you can care for another living creature, and honestly that’s sexy.

9. Children are cute but clarify who the child belongs to. 

Look, most of us love children. Seeing a man with a kid is incredibly adorable and it makes us smile from ear to ear. But, please, clarify who the child belongs to. If it’s yours great let us know. If it’s your niece/nephew or godchild let us know. We just want to know what we could be getting ourselves into.

10. TBTs are cute if we’re dating.

Putting a baby picture is fine. It show us you were adorable once and you own it. For the most part one baby picture is fine and it doesn’t bother me much. Now, awkward middle school or from 4 years ago that’s a different story. Of course we would love to see them, when we actually know you.

11. Don’t be a show off.

Remember that kid in class that would brag about his new toy. Not many people liked him or the bragging. That’s still true today. It’s great that you have all these material things, but showing them off in ever single picture makes you materialistic and shallow. If we like you for you, the material things will be a bonus.

12. Give us conversation starter.

If you want the woman to make a move or don’t mind a more aggressive woman than give us something to strike up a conversation. Just give us something to work with. Trust me conversation will be able to flow more naturally if we have interesting things to comment on or talk about.

So these are just a few tips me and my friend came up with. If you know of any others let me know! On top of the pictures, it’s always great to have a good bio included. We just want to learn more about you. Give us material to work with and then we can decide if we’re a match. Obviously this is all from my point of view, and guys also judge us and make a decision on whether or not we’re a good match for them. But typically girls give a lot more to work with.

Anyways have a wonderful day!!

Much love always,

xx

Dear Future Husband

Dear Future Husband,

I love you. I hope I tell you that often, because I really do. I hope you know how lucky you are to be loved by me. If you know me, that comment doesn’t come off as conceited. By now, you will know how big of a heart I have and to know that I love you with all of it must make you feel pretty special. Hopefully, I have done a little something special for you every single day to show you just how much I love you. I hope you treat me like a queen, because I certainly will treat you like a king. The amount of care that will come your way, will sometimes be more than you could possibly imagine.

I hope we have gone through many adventures together and that we will have many more to come. Hopefully, we both love to travel and that will happen frequently. It’s a beautiful and big world, and I can’t imagine seeing it with anyone else. Make sure we always take pictures and videos to have those memories even when ours fade. But, I also hope we take time to just really take in our surroundings. I hope we make this world a little better, and that we leave our mark. I’ll make sure we make a difference and do our part.

Here’s a strange request: I hope we have gone through bad times. Those bad times will not only make us stronger, but it will show me that no matter what happens in this life I have you by my side always. I hope you hold my hand, because your strong hold of me will let me know that no matter how far I fall you will be there to help me up.

I hope you make me laugh, a lot. Laughter always has been and always be the best medicine. I hope I make you laugh with my ridiculous humor and antics. I can be loud and crazy and spontaneous, I hope you find that endearing. Always join me if I start dancing in public, because we will be able to laugh about it after. A genuine smile on your face will let me know I did something right. I hope I say Thank You for everything you do for me.

We are a team, and we will always be a team. This will be even more true when we get blessed with children. Raising them will be a team effort, one I am confident we will do well. It will be terrifying to know that we will be shaping a human being, but I hope knowing we have each other will make it less scary. If anything is to ever happen to either one of us, I hope the other one tells our kids just how amazing and incredible that parent was. I hope we have plenty of stories of us to embarrass our kids. I hope we raise incredibly kind, fun loving, smart and independent children.

I hope you treat me as an equal. I am a strong independent woman who needs a partner not a master. I hope you know how to interpret me, from the genuine smiles to the worried crinkles on my face. Knowing my mannerisms inside and out means you understand me and that you care. I will always have your back and support you in whatever you want to do. I ask that you do the same for me, regardless of how crazy my endeavors may seem. Embrace my quirks, they are what make me lovable! Know by now, I probably adore your quirks.

If I do have some ridiculous crazy ideas, support me but also help me be realistic. I know I can be a dreamer, and I hope that is something you love about me. And I realize sometimes I might soar too high, I will need you to help me fly a little lower. Never, however, belittle me and my dreams. Putting me down, will undoubtedly result in bad things your way.

I hope we talk. That we talk often, loud, quiet, and about the hard things. Listen to me, even if you don’t care about what I’m saying. Sometimes I just need an ear. Although, I do hope you care about what I will have to say. Please know, your opinion will matter to me just as much as my family’s opinions. I may not always agree with it, but I will always respect it. I talk a lot, as I’m sure you know, but sometimes my silences will speak louder. My silences don’t always mean I’m upset, sometimes I’m just appreciating the moment. I hope we are comfortable in our silence.

Fighting will be inevitable, but promise me we will NEVER go to bed mad. Sometimes I’ll have a short temper and let it out on you when it may not be your fault. Please know, I am sorry to do that to you. But hopefully, you’ll be strong enough to know I just need to blow off steam. I will do my best to be as understanding. When we fight, I promise to do my best to never say anything that will truly hurt you. And if I ever do, please know that will never be my intention. I hope the same goes for you. Seeing you in pain, will hurt me as much as it hurts you. If the fight is not huge, please let me win sometimes. You know how competitive and stubborn I can be, sometimes winning will be good for us, trust me. And as stubborn and competitive as I may be, my compassion will also let you win sometimes. ;)

Trust me the same way I will trust you. I am giving you all of me, please don’t break me. Sometimes I will seem fragile, but by now you should know I am very strong. I may be strong, but I can still break. I will do everything and anything for you. I will always do my best to protect you, but know I will always be honest even if it hurts. I would take a bullet for you any day.

Respect me and my choices the same way I will do for you. Respect the religion I pick to follow. Respect the traditions I follow. Know that I will not only respect, but also embrace your choices and traditions. Our relationship should be built on respect, trust and love.

Understand and embrace my crazy lovable family. They are everything to me, and I hope they mean a lot to you too. I hope by now I have told you wonderful stories about my brother, who I miss dearly. If I ever get sad about him, just hold me. Let me cry and hold me, because I know everything will be alright.

My close friends are important to me too. I hope you know and like them. I will need time with them, even if that means time away from you. Please know, I will give you the same courtesy of spending time with your buddies away from me. It will be important for us to spend time apart, to appreciate the time we have together.

I hope you are strong internally and externally. I hope you are kind and sweet. I hope you are fun and funny. I hope you love dogs, because we all know I am obsessed! I hope you will be a great role model for our kids. I know if I picked you that you will be an incredibly father. I hope you love life as much as I do. I hope you have a good heart. I hope you know what you want, and not afraid to admit it when you don’t. I hope you’re not afraid to break down, because you’ll know I’ll be right there to hold you together. I hope you’re a feminist. I hope you stand up for what you believe in. I hope you can admit it, if you’re lost. (It happens to all of us!) Never be afraid to admit you were wrong. I know I always do.

I hope that together we will both continually grow and learn about ourselves, our relationship and life.

I hope we have an epic love story. One for the books. I hope we met in a memorable way, and that we can tell our kids how life brought us together. I hope our love story is full of laughter, fun, adventures, happiness, hardships, trials, respect, trust and most of all love. (It is called a LOVE story after all!) I hope our friends and family love having us around because we’re the “Cool Couple”! Regardless, we’ll always be cool in our own eyes.

All in all, I just hope you treat me the same way I treat you. And I hope we are genuinely happy, because life is beautiful and should be experienced in love. And just love me. Love me with everything you got, because I will do the same.

With A Lot of Love,

Your Future Wife aka Hopefully the woman of your dreams who isn’t perfect but will love you unconditionally

PS- Will totally be reading this at my rehearsal dinner to see if the guy I decide to spend the rest of my life with,  measures up to this list.

Kindness is the Opposite of Weakness

Hello Everyone,

If you listen to the radio then I can guarantee you have heard at least once Rihanna’s new song FourFive Seconds. In the song one specific line always calls my attention because I think it’s a great line.

“All of my kindness, is taken for weakness.”

More often than not, kindness is seen as a sign of weakness and people like to take advantage of that. Let me tell you from experience on a daily basis, being kind is actually a sign of strength. Kindness means being nice and kind to others regardless of the situation. And it is especially true when the situation or other people involved are anything but nice. It takes an incredible amount of strength to not be rude in those situations. Also when you’re having a terrible day, it takes effort to be nice.

To all the people along my life who have taken my kindness and made a “doormat” out of me I say: Thank you! You showed me how strong I could be. You took the easy way out, and threw your weakness at me thinking it was strength. But I got to see what real strength is. My kindness never has been and never will be a weakness, it is my strength.

So to all of you out there who are known as nice, or kind or who do acts of kindness, please know you are strong. You are stronger than most people, because you are making the conscious decision to rise above and treat everyone with respect, dignity and kindness. Don’t let people get you down if they call you weak for being nice.

For all of those who are rude, mean or bullies. Be nice! I dare you! I dare you to be nice to others, not because you should. Do it because it feels good, and it will allow others to see you are inherently a good and kind person.

We all have real kindness inside of us, use your strength for good.

Much love always,

xx

Follow Your Dreams

Sorry guys, but there really isn’t much to post today. I’ve been super busy working on something! I promise soon I shall reveal what that is! :) But for now here’s a quote to hold you over.

“For what it’s worth: It’s never too late to be whoever you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.”

– F. Scott Fitzgerald

“You and Me Baby Ain’t Nothing But Mammals”

Hellooo,

At some point or another in your lifetime you’ve heard “You need to be happy with yourself first, before you can be with someone else.” Or at least some version of that statement. While this statement is absolutely true, the extent to which some people use this has gotten a bit much.

Throughout my years as a teen and even now, every time I say I am sad because I am lonely I have often been responded with ‘don’t be, your life should be complete without a man.’ And to all of you I say: Stop right there! There are so many things wrong with that thought.

In our most basic form we are animals. Animals, for the most part, like to be included in groups. Even more so, they find mates, whether it’s one or several. So as a basic animal instinct we crave partnership and companionship. But let’s go even further than just animal instinct. As a human being, regardless of who you love, most of us desire to find a partner. While you may have a great life filled with joy and fun and love, there will always be a part of you craving that deep emotional connection with a partner. And that longing causes sadness. So I’m here to tell you, IT’S OKAY! It’s okay to feel lonely and sad. Being lonely and sad doesn’t mean you have any less of a great life or that you don’t love yourself. It simply means you are human, and one of your basic needs isn’t being met.

While you can have a great life with a great job, great friends and a lot of fun and love around you, you can still feel an emptiness from that part in your heart that hasn’t been filled. That is you telling yourself something isn’t quite right. For me, I currently feel that way. I have a great family, great friends and a pretty good life. And I am so grateful for everything I do have in my life, but there is still one very important thing missing. My entire life, I’ve always dreamed of finding my perfect man. And I believe that until I find that man, part of me will always be lonely and sad. Most of my life, people have made me feel bad for feeling that way. Until one day I decided enough was enough. I am allowed to feel exactly the way I feel. While there are other things that are very important to other people, finding love is very important to me. So until I find my prince charming, I will feel exactly the way I want to thank you very much.

Some people make it sound like a bad thing if you are sad because of the lack of a partner. And truth be told, they’re probably making you feel like that because they feel like that. When they say, focus on other things in your life, it’s simply so that you can focus on the good things in your life instead of the bad or sad.

I’m here to tell you something different than what you’ve been probably told most of your life. It is not only important but healthy that you go through all of the emotions. If you feel happy great enjoy every ounce of that feeling. If you are sad, that’s okay too. Take in all the sadness and really let yourself go. Cry if you need to and be sad. Because being sad makes you appreciate all the happy moments. Plus we all know how unhealthy it is to just keep things bottled up inside. So if you’re angry find a good healthy outlet. Mine is talking and the gym. (If you ever need to let out stress or anger, use these. They’re awesome and great for relieving any anger.) Whatever emotion you are feeling, really feel it. It is healthy and necessary that you completely feel every emotion. Because, truth be told, it’s a pretty amazing thing that we have such an array of emotions to go through.

The bottom line is this, if you feel sad and lonely because you don’t have a partner, that is absolutely okay. No one should make you feel bad for feeling the way you do. And you’re not alone in feeling the way you do. We all feel sad and lonely at some point, it’s part of life. So go have yourself a life full of emotions! Trust me, the bad emotions make the good ones feel that much better!

Much love always,

xx