“You and Me Baby Ain’t Nothing But Mammals”

Hellooo,

At some point or another in your lifetime you’ve heard “You need to be happy with yourself first, before you can be with someone else.” Or at least some version of that statement. While this statement is absolutely true, the extent to which some people use this has gotten a bit much.

Throughout my years as a teen and even now, every time I say I am sad because I am lonely I have often been responded with ‘don’t be, your life should be complete without a man.’ And to all of you I say: Stop right there! There are so many things wrong with that thought.

In our most basic form we are animals. Animals, for the most part, like to be included in groups. Even more so, they find mates, whether it’s one or several. So as a basic animal instinct we crave partnership and companionship. But let’s go even further than just animal instinct. As a human being, regardless of who you love, most of us desire to find a partner. While you may have a great life filled with joy and fun and love, there will always be a part of you craving that deep emotional connection with a partner. And that longing causes sadness. So I’m here to tell you, IT’S OKAY! It’s okay to feel lonely and sad. Being lonely and sad doesn’t mean you have any less of a great life or that you don’t love yourself. It simply means you are human, and one of your basic needs isn’t being met.

While you can have a great life with a great job, great friends and a lot of fun and love around you, you can still feel an emptiness from that part in your heart that hasn’t been filled. That is you telling yourself something isn’t quite right. For me, I currently feel that way. I have a great family, great friends and a pretty good life. And I am so grateful for everything I do have in my life, but there is still one very important thing missing. My entire life, I’ve always dreamed of finding my perfect man. And I believe that until I find that man, part of me will always be lonely and sad. Most of my life, people have made me feel bad for feeling that way. Until one day I decided enough was enough. I am allowed to feel exactly the way I feel. While there are other things that are very important to other people, finding love is very important to me. So until I find my prince charming, I will feel exactly the way I want to thank you very much.

Some people make it sound like a bad thing if you are sad because of the lack of a partner. And truth be told, they’re probably making you feel like that because they feel like that. When they say, focus on other things in your life, it’s simply so that you can focus on the good things in your life instead of the bad or sad.

I’m here to tell you something different than what you’ve been probably told most of your life. It is not only important but healthy that you go through all of the emotions. If you feel happy great enjoy every ounce of that feeling. If you are sad, that’s okay too. Take in all the sadness and really let yourself go. Cry if you need to and be sad. Because being sad makes you appreciate all the happy moments. Plus we all know how unhealthy it is to just keep things bottled up inside. So if you’re angry find a good healthy outlet. Mine is talking and the gym. (If you ever need to let out stress or anger, use these. They’re awesome and great for relieving any anger.) Whatever emotion you are feeling, really feel it. It is healthy and necessary that you completely feel every emotion. Because, truth be told, it’s a pretty amazing thing that we have such an array of emotions to go through.

The bottom line is this, if you feel sad and lonely because you don’t have a partner, that is absolutely okay. No one should make you feel bad for feeling the way you do. And you’re not alone in feeling the way you do. We all feel sad and lonely at some point, it’s part of life. So go have yourself a life full of emotions! Trust me, the bad emotions make the good ones feel that much better!

Much love always,

xx

A Letter To ME

Dear Me,

Thank you! Thanks for taking seriously the whole “you need to go to the gym” thing. You’ve always been a procrastinator when it came to actually doing exercise. To you going up the stairs was exercise enough. But you finally decided getting out of breath when you got to your room just wasn’t cutting it anymore. Also, for the first time in your life you actually decided to follow doctor’s order to keep doing something even after  you were done going to them. (You know what I’m talking about Miss I-Stopped-Wearing-My-Retainer-So-Now-My-Teeth-Have-Moved-Again.)

But seriously, New You really appreciates it. I feel better than I have in a long time. Like internally I can feel the difference. I may feel tired, but my body inside feels amazing. Your knee hasn’t hurt in a long time. You are stronger physically and mentally. And not to mention how good you look. Plus, the loose pants definitely help the self-esteem!

It has only been a month since you started, but the difference is already noticeable. There’s still a lot of work to be done. But I couldn’t be more proud that you decided to truly exercise for you. You started out because you HAD to, but you go 3 times a week because you WANT to. Keep it up! You’re doing amazing! A few more weeks, and you will have that banging bikini bod.

Thank you!

With a lot of love,

New Me

Where Do I Fit In?

“Where do I fit in?” Is a question we often face in every stage of our life. For me, it’s been something I’ve always struggled with. The simple fact of moving around allows you to be able to adapt but also makes it so much harder to truly fit in somewhere. But whether you’re a kid, teenager, or adult you often encounter this question and often don’t know how to deal with it.

This question has been prevalent in my life throughout the different stages of my life. In school, you always wonder if you’re being included in your friend groups. This is the age where you’re still figuring out who you even are as a person. That alone is hard enough, and trying to find a group of friends that is a good fit can be quite the challenge. In college, you have several different groups to fulfill different needs. This is the time you have your party friends, your study buddies, your chill friends, and your best friends that are with you through it all. Through those times, I can guarantee most of the those groups shift yearly. And that’s totally okay. And as an adult things change drastically. As an adult you are responsible, working and sort of free. But with adulthood you don’t have places where you can meet people. For example, in college you mostly meet college students in class, out at a bar, party or someone’s dorm or apartment. In adulthood, you can meet people anywhere but I think it’s so much harder to actually become friends.

In my case, one of the only time I really felt like I fit in with a group was with a guy friend group of mine in college. But the funny thing is even then, I was the only girl and that made me a little bit of an outcast within that group. The only other instance I’ve felt like part of a group was with my best girlfriends in high school. But even then, after we graduated we all drifted apart. With other groups of friends I’ve always felt like a bit of an outcast. Now, alone with one or 2 friends I truly feel comfortable and not left out. So this begs the question, am I just not cut out to be part of a large group of friends? Or does everyone suffer with this?

What happens when as an adult you make really good friends, but those friends don’t necessarily do the things you do? For example, what if you are always up to party, go to a bar, or even just go out but your friends prefer more quiet nights or are always too busy? What do you do then? Well my dear, dear readers that is where I need your help. I have amazing friends, who I am thankful for having in my life, but I am 24 years young and sitting at home Friday nights is just not acceptable.

You read that correctly, most of my weekend plans consist of staying in on Friday and Saturday nights. And to be perfectly honest, it is driving me insane. This year, the only person I’ve been to the movies with is my own mother. I’ve been out maybe 5 or 6 times since the start of the year. In college I was out Tuesdays through Saturdays. After that I downsized drastically to mostly on weekends. But it’s so hard, because your size of friends or acquaintances that are willing to go out is much smaller.

Here is something that needs to be understood about me. I don’t mind doing things on my own. I often times go to concerts alone because my friends all have different taste in music. That doesn’t bother me much any more.However, I don’t like going to movies alone because I love to talk about movies after I’ve seen them. And that’s not something you can do, if you go alone. But going out alone, now that’s just sad and creepy. At bars and clubs I hate it when my friends leave me alone to go to the bathroom, so imagine going to a place like that on your own. It’s terrifying and just weird. Come on, you all know it’s true. You see someone show up alone, you automatically label them as weird.

So I’m asking for some advice here. What should I do about my life? I want to be out there enjoying my youth! Enjoying meeting new people! But I can’t if I’m stuck at home because I have no one to go with me.  What are you guys doing? How do you make sure people are inviting you out? And how do you find the people you go out with?

In advance, I thank you for the advice. (And I realize how pathetic and weird I sound. But the first step is admitting it, am I right?)

Much love always,

xx

We Expect Mutual Respect

Good Morning!

So last Thursday I came across a very frustrating situation. A friend of mine approached me to ask for some advice. The previous night she had contacted an alum from her college seeking professional advice. He then proceeded to tell her he preferred to communicate via text. Sadly when she told me, the first thing that popped into my head was “Oh no, I know exactly where this is going.” And the frustrating part is I SHOULDN’T know where the story was headed! But in today’s world the sad reality is that some men think that a woman trying to advance her career will do it by any means necessary. I don’t want this blog post to be focused on this man, but instead on the sad reality surrounding it. I realize this is not true for all men. I, for example, work in an predominately male office, who are all very respectable and pretty awesome. But for the men that this is true for, I need you to listen up.

When a woman reaches out for professional advice, it does not give you any right to be anything BUT professional. The same way that if you reach out to someone for professional advice, you don’t expect to be disrespected and offered anything but a professional relationship. We are the same! All we want is to advance our careers by merit and hard work. Please understand this is NOT okay and it is completely out of line. We are humans just like you and are trying to make a career for ourselves just like you. And honestly, we shouldn’t live in such a modern world where this is accepted as okay.

And to make matters worse, when my friend reached out to a female acquaintance from the same company as the man, she told my friend to not report it. WHAT? Are you kidding me? How are you not supporting your fellow woman? How could you possible tell her to keep quiet when she was blatantly disrespected? You are just as much part of the problem as the man.

My friend said “Women today are told so many don’ts, I don’t know what do.” And when she said that I knew she’d be okay. She knew right from wrong, and she knew that staying quiet wouldn’t sit well with her. So I did what any good woman, friend, fellow human would, I gave her a hug and told her to report him. Not only because he disrespected her, but because he should not be a contact for other women seeking professional advice. Because sadly, someone might actually fall prey to that. (To not be a hypocrite, in that situation both parties are at fault. The man for offering anything but a professional relationship. And the woman for thinking she is not good enough based on merit and that she has to resort to other measures.)

So, if you are going through a situation like this, or a friend of yours is, please remember for your protection and the protection of those around you it is always good to be honest. You should be your own priority.So you should always speak up when something isn’t right. I know sometimes due to the situation it might be tough, but if it doesn’t feel right in your gut, speak up. Who knows you might actually be helping someone else too. Always follow your gut, because it’s got your back and it’s always right.

Feel free to reach out to me if you need to talk or ask anything.

Much love always,

xx

More Technology, Less Human Interaction

Hey guys,

So it’s been all over the news that the anxiously awaited new Apple Watch will be coming out soon. Everyone is excited for it and it seems to be something people can’t wait to get their hands on.

As awesome as the Apple Watch seems, it saddens me a little. It’s true we live in a world of easy commodities where they try to make everything as accessible as possible. But at the same time, the sad reality is how much we are losing human interaction. The trade off we seem to get is, more advanced technology and less face to face human interaction.

Having everything you need on your wrist, will make your life easier. But it will also be easier to get distracted and focus on a piece of technology instead of the world around you. It’s hard enough to put your phone down, but how do you ignore your watch?

I’d be a liar if I didn’t say that is seems awesome and convenient to have everything right there on your wrist. It makes for such a convenient way to check your messages, phone calls, etc. But, will that mean that since everything is readily available we will forget about the world around us?

Of course, the blame isn’t entirely on a piece of technology. Humans have a lot of the blame for not being able to exert self control. So here’s my challenge for you. Incorporate awesome pieces of technology but don’t forget that there is still a big beautiful world around you and people who are just waiting to be a part of your life. Find a balance between technology and human interaction. That’s all I ask!

What do you guys think? Let me know!

Much love always,

xx

Dear Little Brother

Today i want to share something even more personal than I normally do, a letter I wish my little brother could read.

Dear Little Brother,

First of all, I miss you more than you can imagine. You were taken from this world too soon. But I can’t be mad because I have to believe you are in a better place now. And now I can’t believe it’s been more than a year and half since you’ve been gone. It’s crazy how time flies. It feels like we lost you yesterday. 

There are still times, where I see something and I’m like “I should totally get that! My brother would love it!” And then I’m faced with the sad reality that I can’t give you anything physical. There are things I want to tell you and I realize that I won’t ever hear a response. Sometimes I wish I could hug you, even though you hated hugs. (But thank you for letting me hug you one final time the last time I saw you.)  I miss our arguments and our banter, because that’s what made our relationship special. You were my first best friend.  

People tell you that every day it will get easier. And you know it does get easier to deal with it all, but the longing and the pain of losing you is still as strong as the day I got the news. That will never go away, and I hope that shows you just how much I love you. 

I want you to know that I am living my life to fullest and going for my dreams because I know that is exactly what you would have wanted. And I still remember that day before we went bowling when you said “If that’s what you really want to do, then go for it!” Our family is doing our best to make sure your memory lives on not only in our life but in the life of those who love you. 

You were a good guy, with a heart of gold. You believed the best in people. You were always willing to hear someone’s life story, including people we often overlook like the homeless. I know it was your time to leave this world, but I know deep in my heart that you would’ve done something great with your life. 

To me you will always be the little brother I protected. My partner in crime, when one of us had a terrible idea. You will always be the little boy that would stand next to me and hold my hand. I knew all three of us could face the world together because no matter what you had our back. And now you still do, just from a different angle. 

I love you always,

Your big sis.

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Those are just some of the things I wish I could tell my little brother. To all of you who have ever thought or are thinking about suicide, read this note again and again. My brother didn’t die of suicide, he passed away in his sleep. But the pain of losing someone is the same regardless of how you lose them, if not more when it’s a suicide. Please consider those you will be leaving behind when you make that decision. The pain it will bring them. Of course, my brother had no say in the matter, but I want you to know how it feels. How hard it is sometimes to just deal with a few hours in the day when you miss someone so much it physically hurts you. To end on a good note, just remember how much love is out there. Pain comes from love, and you can imagine how strong my pain is because of how much love I had. Sorry for the sad post but sometimes you just need to express how you really feel. If this helps one person out there, I will be happy.

Special Friday: Connect the Dots

Hello,

My mom sent me this quote and I actually really liked it. Figure I’d share.

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

– Steve Jobs

Happy Friday!

Much love always,

xx

Love Has No Label

Good Morning Everyone!

For today’s post I want to share and talk about a video I watched. During the video, I got emotional and cried. It’s a beautiful video and everyone NEEDS to watch it. With all the hate, discrimination and war going around we need to spread this video as much as possible. Please watch it below.

Love has no labels. (<– Click it!) It has no religion, race, age, disability or sex. Underneath it all we are all human beings. Who we chose to love should not matter. There are so many different kinds of love. There is friend love, family love, romantic love, neighborly love, compassionate love, and the list goes on. We can express it many different ways. And that’s the beautiful thing about love. Ultimately it is one emotion but it can be felt and shared in so many different ways.

To me this video was so powerful, because it goes to show how underneath it all we are all the same. And that we just need to spread some love. People need to watch this, because once you do there is no way you can make any argument against same sex marriage, people from different religions being friends, or anything else. We should strive for a more peaceful world by sharing just a little bit of love.

The funny thing is people are often scared of love or think it’s such a strong word. To me, love is a simple thing. If I care about you and I genuinely try to make you happy, I love you. Whether I love you as a friend, family, or as more than a friend. And by the way, family doesn’t only mean blood related, it means who you consider to be family.  I love easily because to me it’s a feeling that needs to be shared more often. I believe if we loved each other more, we’d all get along a little bit better. Don’t be afraid to love, or to say you love someone. Life is really short, and you never know if you’re going to see that person again. So tell them! Every time I talk to one of my best friends, I always make sure to say “Love ya” before I hang up. I want the people in my life to know how much I care about them. I dare you to express how you feel.

Much love (see I always say it) always,

xx

Women are Kickass

Hi Everyone,

Lately I’ve seen a lot of videos talking about how awesome women are, and honestly I am LOVING IT! I’ll link below some of those videos.

Recently, a lot of spotlight has been brought on to women’s equality, a cause people have been fighting for, for a very long time. I feel that ever since the Emma Watson speech on what it actually means to be a feminist came out, more people have been open to the idea of being feminists. I think the stigma of being associated with Feminism has diminished because more people now understands what it actually means and can now support it. But I am not here to talk about that iconic Feminism talk, although the link is below if you have yet to watch or would like a refresher.

This post is going to focus on why women are so awesome. Here are a few reasons to support that statement.

1. First and foremost, let’s talk about the fact that once a month we bleed. And we are still alive. Can you wrap your head around that? Blood leaves our body once a month!

2. With that, comes intense pain. Horrible, miserable pain that hurts to even be still. It hurts to walk, it hurts to sit, it just hurts. And that’s the least that will happen. Some girls get nauseous or even faint.

3. And on top of that we deal with uncontrollable hormones. Hormones that make you cry for no reason or the smallest reason. It makes you rage like a lunatic. It makes you change moods so fast. And if you’re like me, you feel bad for having those mood swings, but in the end you have no control over it. But the worst part is men can be so insensitive about that. They either just assume every time we’re mad it’s because of PMS and not because something actually upset us. Or they get mad at us for the mood swings. Boys, please understand one thing, we have no control over how we react when hundreds of hormones are raging through our bodies making us act in ways we don’t necessarily want to be acting. All we want from you is for you to be understanding and treat us with kindness.

4. This is perhaps the biggest reason that we are so incredibly awesome: we create another human being inside our own bodies. Got that? One egg that we produce can becomes a fetus that develops into an actual human being. We are the reason humanity still exists.

5. We deal with prejudice, sexism, injustice, and unfairness almost on a daily basis. We are so strong, because even if one of those things upsets us we keep going. We get up every single day and tackle every single day. We know we are bound to face at least one of those issues if not all of them every single day. But we are fighters. We not only deal with those unfortunate events but we fight so that our daughters get better lives and more equality.

6. Women are fighters. They fight against all odds. They fight for what is right and just.

7. Even though we are fighters, we are also nurturing. If someone has a problem , I think a woman is more likely to lend a hand or an ear than a man. Nurturing is just in our nature.

8. We are faced everyday with how we should look and act from the media. It’s true that is also applies to men, but not as intensely or as often. We are bombarded with magazines, tv shows and on the internet that we are supposed to be skinny and tall and perfect. We deal with that on a daily basis, yet we are still preaching to love your own body.

9. We do get some pretty awesome perks. We can’t kid our selves. Typically at bars, we don’t have to wait in lines or get in at no charge or at a discounted rate. Which is awesome because that means we get to save money. We do get more clothes options than men. For all the travelers, as much as we want to assert our independence, sometimes it’s nice to get some help with that heavy luggage. Also we can go in groups to our typically bigger and nicer bathrooms. And I appreciate the privacy in having stalls in the bathroom, I don’t think  could pee in a urinal with someone 6 inches away from me being able to see everything. So there are a few perks here and there that make it pretty convenient to be a woman.

10. This one, I’m not going to lie, came from a friend: Emotional Capacity. Women are amazing at being able to express how they feel. (I hear all the pfftss and the boys shaking their heads, I see you.) But it’s true. When something bothers us or upsets us or makes us happy, we are capable of expressing how we really feel. Most guys are afraid to do so, or have a really hard time doing so. (Something that often creates a lot of tension between couples) Yes we can be a little crazy but at least we can talk about it. And most of the time we’re not afraid of feelings but instead embrace them.

All in all we are majestic magical beings. We are beautiful and strong. Even the girls you might think are fragile and dainty are pure strength inside. We will always fight the odds for what we believe in. And let’s be honest, for the most part we look good while kicking ass. (And I’m not referring to tight and leathery outfits. Girls are typically more graceful then men, and we’re hot!)

I hope you have enjoyed this post and learned a little something. Below are some links to videos you can watch!

Much Love Always,

xx

Links:

Buzzfeed: Things Men Are Secretly Jealous Of About Women (Although I don’t think it should be a secret.)

Emma Watson: UN Speech He For She (She basically wins at life)

AsapThought: Coming Out Twice (they talk about being gay, but also the sexist comments that are thrown at them about “being feminine”, it goes til about 4:49)

Always: Like a Girl (an incredible ad)

AsapScience: Do Periods Actually Make Women Moody? (every man should watch this video, it’s not gross I promise. It will simply enlighten you)

Recipe for a Better Morning

Had a rough morning? Follow this recipe to change your mood and have a better day.

Ingredients

1 CuteOverload Website

1 Cup of Coffee

1 Backstreet Boys soundtrack

Directions

1. Pour yourself a nice hot cup of coffee. Add sugar and cream to your liking.

2. Turn on the Backstreet Boys playlist provided above.

3. Browse through the irresistibly cute photos on cuteoverload.com.

4. By this point a smile you should have creeped on your face.

5. Remember other people’s comments or actions should not affect you because you are awesome! Remember smiling is the best ammo you’ll carry and that it is also the best medicine.

Much love always,

xx