Give Yourself Your Best Chance

Hello Hello,

So lately I’ve seen a few things that all had the message of “give yourself your best chance.” Most of them had to do with love and relationships and being true to yourself in your partner preference. But I think this message can be true in every aspect of your life.

Give yourself your best chance at choosing yourself. Always pick you first. When things aren’t going as you plan and you are hurting yourself, choose you. Choose to not hurt anymore and choose to give yourself true love. This could be true from a crush to a long-term relationship. Of course, relationships require work but when is too much work worth it? When the hurt and the bad outweighs the good, maybe that’s a good sign it’s time to let go. And this is true for small things such as crushes too. If the person doesn’t feel the same or if they don’t wish to pursue anything with you, choose you. Choose to not hurt anymore and to be happy. And choose to give someone who will treasure you the chance at winning your heart.

Give yourself your best chance at loving yourself. Choose to love yourself, and accept every part of you. You have flaws, we all do. Learn to live with those flaws and use them to your advantage. You are a pretty amazing person, and the first person who should know and own that is you. Someone can only love you, if you know how to love yourself.

Give yourself your best chance at love. Love is a scary thing. Many people are too scared of it to give it a shot. Actually, many people are too scared of being hurt to give it a try. But if you’re not even giving yourself a chance to find it, if you close yourself off to even the chance, then your closing yourself off to actually finding it. Be open to love. How did you learn to walk? By falling down a few times until you finally mastered it. Love is the same thing. You might have to fall down a few times, then you pick yourself up stronger and knowing more than before until you find the one you’re looking for. And you might actually love a few times until you find the one that fits you best. ( just like the perfect pair of shoes ;) )

Give yourself your best chance at adventures. You only get one life. So shouldn’t you live it the most that you can? Shouldn’t you be sitting on your deathbed thinking “Wow, that was a heck of a ride!” That’s how I hope I feel at the end of all of this. You have the opportunity to travel? Do it! You have the opportunity to try a new food? Do it! You have the opportunity to experience something new whether that be an event, a feeling or a place? DO IT! Allow yourself to go through these things because you will create memories and learn a whole lot about you, people and places. When you’re old, the stories you’ll be telling your grandchildren or your friends are the adventures and memories you made. So make some really good ones, so that you’ll be sure to have the best stories around! Also by living adventures of your own, you might inspire those around you to be a bit more adventurous themselves.

Give yourself your best chance at happiness. Things will make you sad in life. Let it. It’s okay to be sad, to be angry, to cry and to want to punch something. The beautiful thing about being human is having all these emotions and being able to express them fully. Take those emotions and feel every single one. Because when you do, you’ll make feeling happy that much sweeter.

Give yourself your best chance to be carefree. More often than not, we are so worried about what others think of us. What we wear, what we do, what we say, or how we act are always running around in our heads as what people are judging us on. Bottom line is this, as I’ve mentioned in previous posts, people will judge you no matter what. It’s human nature to see something and evaluate it. We are taught from a young age that everything requires a “grade” or an evaluation. So what do we do about it? Breaking that habit will be very hard, not only because habits are hard to break but also because I believe part of it has to do with being human. So what can we truly do? We can ignore it. Let’s be honest, you’re not perfect either and you’ve done it too even if it’s just in your head. So just ignore it. Know that you are who are, and that no one is going to change that. Go ahead! Dance like no one is watching, even if tons of people are. Sing at the supermarket, because who cares. Laugh so hard you start crying. Dress exactly how you want to. You should just be you, and no one else. Be carefree.

Give yourself your best chance to be you. Be you unapologetically. Be the best you, you can be. Be so you, that no one else in the world is like you. Because that’s what makes you memorable and unique. And I don’t mean memorable in a celebrity way, I mean memorable to the people who matter, your loved ones. More often than not, we try to conform to what society wants us to be, or what we think others want us to be. This is especially true for women, but also true for men. So girls, be strong, be muscular, be sexually active, be loud, be unique, be creative, be independent if that’s what you want to be. Don’t let labels define you and shame you. Because the best thing you can do, and you can live your life is to be 100% you.

So, here’s to giving your best chance at life. Be brave.

Much love always,

xx

I’m Not Going Out Like That

Hello!
Here’s the truth ladies and gents, sorry to break it to you but you never really leave “high school.” In reality, it just takes different forms. Whether that’s college, work, friends or really anywhere. For a time you may even be tricked into thinking that people matured and that pettiness and gossip were left behind. But, the truth is some people take longer or never really mature at all.

But you can! You can rise above the pettiness and drama and gossip and be a strong, intelligent and overall good person. We can always work on ourselves and improve something about us. Whether that’s how you perceive someone, or how you react to situations, whatever it may be you can always work a little more today to be better than yesterday. I know that is something I work at every day. To be less judgmental about people’s choices, to not put people into labels and to stand up for what is right. These are just some of the things I work at every day to make myself a better person.

So when the day comes where you feel like you’re back in high school, you can smile and know that you won’t fall to their level but instead treat them well because that’s what good strong people do. In the face of adversity you can always rise above and be kind to others and teach them through example. Kindness is the strongest form of punishment, because you are showing them what they are lacking and that is a powerful thing. So make sure to always spread love. There’s a reason TV Shows, fairy tales and stories always make love such a powerful thing and there is no shortcut to love. (But that’s a post for another time)

Much love as always,

xx

I Have Only Changed in Your Eyes

Hello Everyone,

So most recently the people around me have learned a new simple fact about me and somehow that has changed their perception of me. I write a lot about crushes on here, but never do I change myself for them. But my friends seem to think differently.

After they have learned that I have a crush, they have been making certain comments that actually just make me laugh. Some comment that I started wearing more make up. Others have said that I’ve been dressing better and asked if I’d been shopping lately. And some even think I am dressing more sexy.

Here’s the funny part about it all, I have changed absolutely nothing about myself. I still get up at the same time. The clothes I wear I have owned for a while and have worn it before. My makeup routine has stayed exactly the same, nothing new. And I have no idea where the sexy bit came from, because I really don’t consider myself as someone who dresses sexy.

I just wanted to write about how funny it is, that sometimes one simple fact changes how people perceive you. Even though I kept everything exactly the same, one small fact made everyone start to see me differently. That just goes to show, that ultimately you shouldn’t care what others think because they will think whatever they want to. So live a carefree life and be happy with yourself. Life is a wonderful big place full of adventure, don’t waste time trying to fit this image you want people to have of you. Because more than likely they see what they want, whether it’s the truth or not.

As always much love,

xx

Your Eyes Tell More Than You Think

Hello Hello,

If you know me in person, there is one thing I do that you probably have noticed and it probably bothers you. When I talk to people I never really look into their eyes, especially not if I’m saying something personal. While some consider this rude, I do have an explanation for it.

To me, eyes are a very special thing. Yes they provide you with eyesight and the ability to appreciate the world around you, but that is not what I’m here to talk about today.

Eyes can say so much about a person. You’ve probably heard the saying “the eyes are the window to the soul.” While many of you might consider it a stupid saying with no credibility, I strongly believe in it. And I don’t believe it because I think I can know everything about you by looking into your eyes. But eyes do tell stories.

What I think that saying refers to is a series of components that tell you a story. For example, when someone looks at someone else you can see if they’re happy, or sad or angry with that other person. They don’t have to say anything else, and you don’t have to look at any other part in their face except their eyes. You can read emotions through their eyes. Sometimes the eyes themselves tell stories. The glimmer in their eye can tell you about what their personality is like.  I see more than just two eyeballs when I look at someone, I see who they are as a person.

For most of my life I’ve able to tell a lot about a story from the way people look at each other. I love to people watch mostly to try to read people and figure out their stories. Most recently I’ve joined the Game of Thrones cult and been watching the series. There are two characters who are madly in love, but I can tell so much about what the guy feels for the girl from simply the way he looks at her. There is obvious love, then there’s intrigue because he wants to get to know her better, there is respect, kindness and adoration. You may say I know all this from watching his interactions with her, but I can honestly say I concluded this from the first scene they had together on screen before I saw their story develop. And to be perfectly honest, the way they look at each other is my favorite part of their interactions, much more important than any word they could say. It is true that this is all acting, but for an actor to accomplish all of that from the way he looks at someone it’s a true talent.

Now going back to why I never like to look at people directly into their eye when they’re talking to me, it’s because I’m such a strong believer in the saying that I feel stripped of any barriers. When someone looks at me in the eyes, I feel naked. I feel like they can know everything about me by just looking into my eyes. They can see every thought, every feeling and every truth. Not that I lie to people or pretend to be someone I’m not, but there’s a certain level of openness allowed for every day interaction.  So know that if I look at you straight into your eyes when you talk to me it’s because I trust you and I want you to truly know me.

I encourage you to look around you. Try to look at how someone is looking at that other person and try to read what is happening. Know that how you look at someone, says a lot about you. Use your eyes to show kindness and happiness. And the next time you see someone look away don’t automatically assume they’re lying to you, but instead try to make them feel comfortable enough to look you dead in the eyes.

As always much love,

xx

The Things We Own

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Hello!

In our lives when we see something we like we buy it (for the most part). But have you ever thought that that item might reflect who you were at that time. The strangest thing happened to me the other day. I saw two items I had bought in the same city but at two different times in my life and began to compare them.

You see the picture above,  Well I bought those masks in New Orleans. The first time around I couldn’t wait to buy myself a mask. And the second time I knew I wanted to add to my collection. What ended up happening, was I got two entirely different types of masks.

The blue and gold one I bought when I was in high school. It is so beautiful and in it I see a young and sweet naivety. It reflects a simplistic beauty. And also it is very bright and lively. It reflects the kind of person i was back then. A girl who knew enough about the world to know it was beautiful and happy. A girl who as much as she would never admit it, had a certain naive nature. But yet she was strong and bold. She knew how she wanted to represent herself. She didn’t pick the mask with feathers, or with anything else that stuck out of it. She kept things within the limits, yet with a simple beauty to it. She believed in the magical nature of life. It is a mystical and beautiful mask. And it represented well the person I was as a young high school teenager.

The other I bought a few months ago when I went with my cousin. To me it’s even more beautiful. Its mature, sophisticated with a hint of darkness and mysteriousness. It is intricate with a magical feel for the girl that despite everything still believes in the magic of the world, love. I think it reflects me now. A mature young woman, who still finds beauty in life. Who knows that life is in the details. It has been tainted with a hint of darkness because she now knows the world isn’t made of only unicorns and happiness but instead that there is destruction and darkness in the world. Yet, she strives to be beautiful. The boldness still shows that she wants to stand out, but she prefers to do it in a sophisticated and demure way. The metallic color represents how she is still strong and unyielding on her principles. Even the shapes in the mask, shows a different style of beauty. This mask represents me and who I am.

I think both masks are beautiful, but in the place I am at in my life the one I most recently bought is a bit more beautiful than the other. This representation in what we own can be showcased in anything you own: artifacts, clothes, shoes, purses, even your throw pillows on your couch. Buying different things at different times in our lives are a great way to have tangible objects that we can later reflect upon and remember a certain period of our lives. The objects tell the story, and that’s truly a beautiful thing.

As always much love,

xx

We Live in a World of Choices

Hello Hello,

When I reflect on the weekend and the week I had last week, one common topic was reflected throughout: choices. From the religious school I help out at, to movies I’ve seen, to conversations I’ve had, choices was the reoccurring theme in my life last week. I think it’s something we don’t talk about enough. And it’s a topic I feel is not talked about enough between parents and kids.

What are choices? Choices are the decisions we make every single day. Big or small, every choice shapes your life. Some choices you think about, some you don’t. Some take calculated rationalizing and some are made with a gut feeling. However big or small and however you make your choice, you do it. You choose every day. And if you stop and think about that concept for a bit, it will blow your mind.

So now that you have realized that every single thing in your life is a choice, you now know how important those are. Your choices define your life. So right off the bat, I want to say try and make the good choices, the choices that will make you happy. It might not be the easiest choice to make, but it might be the most worth it in the end. And it’s not wrong to make decisions on a limb based on a gut feeling, I do it all the time. Because my rule of guide is this, if it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t.

Also know the choices you make don’t just affect you, but also the people around you. Choices affect others, whether you know them or not. So when you’re making choices you are not just making them for yourself, but also for those that could be affected. Which is why people always reiterate making good choices not just for yourself, which is important, but also for those around you.

So the next time you are presented with a choice, which could be in 5 minutes, an hour or a day, think about it. Or don’t and act with your gut. Either way, know you are making a choice. And even when you feel like you don’t have a choice, remember you ALWAYS have a choice, sometimes it takes a little more thinking to find an alternate solution.

As always much love,

xx

Caitlyn Jenner is Also Just a Fellow Human Being

Hello Hello,

So I sat here debating for a while whether to say anything about the whole Caitlyn Jenner situation. I don’t have much to say, because I’ve never been in her shoes. I’ve never felt uncomfortable in the body I was born in and I’m extremely grateful for that. But I can say a few things on how people are reacting to her change.

Bottom line is this, she wasn’t happy with who she was. I’ve read articles calling it disgusting and not natural and that women should be offended that Caitlyn calls herself a woman. And I’m in awe that in the society we live in today, we can’t be more accepting. First off it was a man who said us women should feel offended. Let me enlighten him a little, being a woman is not based on your physical attributes, it goes deeper then the skin. While yes having certain body parts does qualify you as being female, being a woman is really about how you feel inside. And I’m not referring to feminine attributes, because I believe men can have those as well. But really it comes down to how you see yourself in your own eyes.

Secondly I’ve seen women criticize the attire she chose to make her debut in. And to that I say, it has nothing to do with sexualizing women but instead it’s just a stylistic preference. Some women like the pin up looks, while others like to keep everything covered, we shouldn’t criticize women on what they prefer to wear. So why are we criticizing Caitlyn’s choice?

And thirdly, there has been immense contradictions on Caitlyn’s status. I don’t think she wants to be seen as a hero or anything grand like that. She just happened to already live in the public’s eye and wanted to share her true self, who happens to be another gender. And I think, if she happens to be a role model to those not comfortable in their own skin or any transgender person out there, great! I don’t think she’s a hero or an angel, I think she’s human and making her own choices. That choice happened to be a sex change.

So I say let’s not blow this up more than it should be, but let’s give it the respect it deserves. The respect of making your own choices. The respect of being human.

So like I said I don’t know much on the topic of transgender, but I do know a little something on the topic of being a good human being. So let’s respect a fellow human being’s choices. And let’s try to live our lives a little kinder and with a little less criticism.

Much love always,

xx

Inspiration from the Unlikeliest Places

Good Morning Everyone,

As many of you know, last week I was in the sin city, Las Vegas! What an epic trip that was. I even caught myself just standing there thinking “am I really here? Wow!” I am lucky enough to be able to go on trips and have these life experiences and create these lifetime memories, and that is simply incredible.

But one thing that no one expects you to feel in Vegas, I was lucky enough to feel. No I’m not talking about love, haha. I’m referring to this burning desire to fight for my life and my dreams. Over the weekend there I attended Rock in Rio. While at the festival many of the artists performing encouraged us to follow our dreams and to truly never give up on ourselves. You have to fight for what you want, no matter what anyone says. Your dreams can come true with hard work. With all of these speeches and their beautiful songs that followed, the overwhelming feeling I got was enough to make me cry on several occasions.

Some of the songs that were enough to make me emotional was Taylor Swift’s Clean, Big Sean’s One Man Can Change the World, Tell Her You Love Her by Echosmith, and basically every song by Ed Sheeran. The concert in itself was epic but the emotions and drive I got from watching these people do what they love.

It’s just a reminder that you sometimes get inspiration in the unlikeliest of places. And I really needed the motivation to get me back on track. So if you’re in need of inspirations and/or motivation take a look around you and just realize how lucky you are. And then something might unexpectedly inspire you to follow your heart and fight for your dreams.

As always, much love,

xx

My Ode to Tiffany

Hello Everyone,

In honor of spending most of this week in LAS VEGAS, I figured I’d dedicate this post to the person going with me.

Dear Tiff,

Thank you for being the best partner in crime. Thank you for not laughing at my crazy ideas but instead agree to go with me. You never reject a trip idea, and I love you for that. You have given me the opportunity to know what it’s like to go through these major experiences with someone by my side. No matter how crazy or hard it may seem, you make it happen! Vegas has no idea what’s in store for them! Let’s go paint that town red, purple, blue and whatever other color we want because this trip will be our amazing adventure!

Love you always and see you on the other side,

V

Dadbods Really?

Hello Hello,

So I just read an article that is talking about how the new craze is girls loving “dadbods.”

Listen I am all for the whole man body empowerment too. I think it’s great that we’re talking about something that for the most part is not talked about enough. The talk of body shaming women is all over the place and it’s a constant topic of debate. But male body shaming isn’t talked about as much. So I fully support this girl writing this article all about supporting dadbods.

While I support this topic and think it’s great, it should not be generalized as the preference for all girls. The same way it is unrealistic to expect these perfect bodies on women, it’s also unrealistic to expect washboard abs on men. But that does not mean that we don’t want a fit man. Personally, I’d like a guy who goes the gym as often as I do (3 times a week) but isn’t going to be devastated if we go pick up some junk food or has to skip the gym a day. I by no means expect a perfect body, but I’d like a healthy and fit bodied man.

Her description was of a man who exercises regularly yet isn’t afraid to drink or eat. And I’m absolutely on board with that description, however the pictures they attached to her description, is not at all what I picture. A guy can be unafraid to eat and drink how much ever he wants, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they have a gut or a belly. All I’m saying is a guy can be a regular looking guy without having a belly or a gut. Just like women, guys have a variety of body shapes and sizes that classify what normal looks like.

Bottom line is preference. My preference happens to be a toned and healthy man. He doesn’t need to have the perfect abs or veins popping out of the muscle, because honestly that is not only intimidating but unattractive. I would like a man to care about his appearance and put some effort into keeping himself healthy the same way I do. I am not a health freak or a gym freak, but I like feeling good about myself after a nice work out. And I would love to have my husband be a hottie and still fit after 20 years of marriage. It’s not completely unrealistic as I’ve seen plenty of dads with nice toned bodies. But if it happens that after 20 years he starts getting a dadbod that will make sense because he will be a dad and I’ll be sporting the mom body. So with the logic of “you already get a preview and no surprises” sorry to tell you it probably won’t stay the same. And wouldn’t you want the two of you to grow old together and grow into older bodies together? I know I do.

All in all, men love your bodies too because they are great. If you have the “dadbod” know that there are plenty of girls out there who want you exactly as you are. Guys who go to the gym every single day, there are girls out there for you too. And the guys in between who have a fit body but don’t feel the need to live at the gym, Hi! And guys who have a lot more of you to love, there are plenty of girls out there who would love to cuddle the heck out of you. Whatever your body type, be proud. Know that we don’t expect you to be a male model or be perfect, because your imperfections are exactly what make you relatable and approachable.

Much love always,

xx