Sorry it’s been so long since I’ve written here. Have I been busy…you can say that. I have become basically entirely too preoccupied with my Youtube Channel. I am sorry for the neglect. I basically write here to let off some steam. Basically still in the same rut with no job prospect whatsoever. And this week E is off so we’re basically spending all day together. And I just realized here she is planning the whole next year and all her specific lesson plans. And here I am still applying for jobs. It gets soooo hard to keep going. I should be doing amazing things with my life. I should be working every day, taking care of myself, traveling, not having to worry about how much to spend. This isn’t the life I worked so hard for. But I guess I have to live through this to get to the good part right? I’m just tired of waiting. Applying for jobs seems like it never ends and I can’t ever catch a break. And I know everyone keeps saying “oh don’t worry it’s going to happen soon.” Oh yea? Really? Cuz last I checked its been 5 months since I graduated and I am still unemployed with no future prospects. And most of the people saying that, although love and care about me very much, have not gone through what I have.
On the other hand I can’t complain too much because I am basically living life as if I was in summer break. I sit on my computer all day and have the tv on while I work. I have an amazing best friend who’s opened up her home to me and tolerates my craziness every day. And because of that I have had no meltdowns. So in a way she is saving my mental health. But I also attribute that to having a project like my Youtube Channel to work on that keeps me feeling like I at least have something I am doing with my life. (Well some would say that isn’t really much, but to me it’s important.) And in one hand I still have many options on what to do with my life.
So it’s not all bad but I can’t help but feel a bit lost.
This weekend I will be going down for Homecoming at my college so I’m excited for that!