Why me? Why NOT me?

Okay so I have a new rant to post about. Coming into work today I was so chipper and happy.  Last night I had a very long conversation, as you do before bed, and let’s just say I really persuaded myself of something. Does it involve a celebrity crush? yes. Does it involve me convincing myself that he’s perfect for me? I think we all know where this is going. So you see this morning I came in all smiles. Life is grand.

But then I decided to hit up youtube and watch  some tour diaries. And then it hit me. This wall of sadness and insecurities just hit me like a ton of bricks. So for any normal person, having a celeb crush is fun but meaningless. No one really truly feels emotionally invested. For fangirls, we feel everything. Every excitement and sadness they feel. It’s ridiculous but honestly it’s out of our control. Trust me I know I’ve tried. But here’s the crazy part in all this  watching those videos I got insecure. It’s like I know they have TONS of fans, and I know they see girls who have crushes on them every day. I knew all this, but seeing all these girls go up to them and stuff thats when it becomes true. So then you start thinking to yourself, why? Why would he ever pick me? Why would he love you as opposed to those other thousands of girls throwing themselves at them? What makes you different and special? And the answer to that is EVERYTHING.

You see as a girl we instinctually are the hardest person on ourselves. Trust us, no one is meaner to us than ourselves. It’s ridiculous. I like to think of myself as a pretty confident and self-secured woman. But what is it that when it comes to celebrities, who are humans too, we are just downright awful to ourselves. I should be telling myself “Why WOULDN’T he go for me?” 

It’s just all so confusing and frustrating it’s hard to put it into words. Because you know what as ridiculous as it sounds, I’m going to tell you anyways. Okay, make a list of all the qualities you’d like in your ideal man. I mean anything, go crazy. Okay have that list? Good, so do I. Now imagine all of a sudden one day you stumble upon that ideal man, except he happens to be a celebrity. (Just go with me here.) Crazy? Right? I know, because I’ve always been SO good at detaching myself from actually believing I’d ever have a chance with a celeb. I know the chances are ridiculously small and I don’t want to get hurt. So why put yourself in that position. But this time it’s different (and I should definitely not be writing this on a public blog, but oh well). Like this time I actually believe this could happen. Am I crazy? Absolutely. 

But basically the point of this post is simply to ask, why are we so hard on ourselves? And why is it that when it comes to celebrity crushes, we are even worse on ourselves? Is it our way of protecting ourselves? Or do we truly believe we have absolutely no chance?
If anyone knows the answers, PLEASE do let me know. 

That is all for me today , I know it was kind of a weird post. I apologize, but tomorrow will be back to normal. 🙂 

Hope you all are having a better day than myself (although I do feel better after that post, because I’m AWESOME!) 

Yes Vicky keep telling yourself that.

xx 

 

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