When Funny turns Hurtful

This post is brought to you by anger, frustration and hurt.

For most of my life, I’ve constantly been mocked for my choice in men. The utmost truth is this: I like kind, funny boys, who tend to look younger (and by younger I don’t mean a five year old) because I look very young too. Now for most of my life I’ve been made fun of for liking boys with a younger look. I’m sorry I’m not into the big muscular older looking men. It’s not my choice, I’ve been like this since birth. Actually I’m not sorry, I don’t have to be sorry about for anything. I have also grown up learning to respect other peoples opinions and choices. So even though I got all this criticism, I never once (or at least not that I remember) said anything mean about the kinds of guys or girls my friends have liked. Because being on the receiving end of this has always hurt and I wouldn’t want anyone to feel what I feel. Most of the time, I took in high stride and laughed along. 

But this morning I hit a final straw. I woke up and like every other morning checked my phone for new messages and my Facebook. And what would I discover, something that truly upset me. I’m not going to say who or what the message said because that is irrelevant. All I will say is the message once again was making fun of my taste. But the word that got to me was ‘horrible’. Now I’m one that truly believes every word is powerful and needs to be used carefully. Throwing out the word ‘horrible’ to describe my taste in men, because it is simply different than yours is not okay. I have never dated anyone abusive, nor someone who’s put my life at risk or anything similar to that. So truly that word is used incorrectly. But worse than that it hurt. Because i knew the person very well I knew, they meant it as a joke. But i certainly didn’t feel that it was one. I am standing up and saying enough is enough. Just because I don’t like the same kind of people you do, does not make my taste better or worse than yours. It just merits no comparison.

All in all, even when you mean no harm be careful of the words you say. But the worst wasn’t even what was said, it was where it was said. We live in a world where everything relies on social media and anything you say on there sometimes never goes away. This post was on my Facebook, the most public vehicle possible. I have my parents, their friends, my friends and my coworkers as friends on my page. Posting something like that, means it will show up on their timeline (which I was informed it was there by my coworker). People more often than not say that they don’t care what other people say. But the truth is, seeing something so strong written about someone definitely makes you question your beliefs about the person and makes you think about things. It also eliminates any chance of a guy you are friends with on Facebook to ever even think they have a chance. Because the truth is, we do take in what other people say and even if we don’t want to it makes us think. So now, I’m pretty sure at least one person has changed their opinion of me. And at least one person is saying “no wonder she’s single. at this rate she’ll end up alone or in a horrible relationship.” When that is simply not true.

So the message is before you post anything publicly even if it is a joke between the two of you,think. Think carefully how what you write could affect the other person.


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