Hey hey everyone,
So today has been a weird day. Today is my brother’s birthday. As you may or may not know my brother passed away just this past August. It’s been a hard and strange year to say the least. And today he would have been 22 years old. Now me and my brother are/were 18 months apart. And not having him around has been very strange at times and sad at other times. But his memory lives on, therefore to my family and I, he’s not really gone.
But what’s strange about today is for one simple fact. Most people would assume today would be a horrible day and that I’d be crying all day. And I was actually more sad on my own birthday than I am today. On my own birthday I was sad, because I had another birthday and he didn’t. Which I didn’t think was fair. But today I feel jittery.
The way I chose to honor my brother is to live my life to the very fullest. To do incredible things and appreciate the time I’ve been given. And today I feel very ambitious. I feel like I should be out in the world doing things. Like for example I haven’t made a video in 6 months. Which I have missed. And I have a lot of footage I need to edit. I sort of hate editing, it’s so hard! But today I feel like I could be at home editing videos. Or organizing my room which is a mess, because of the move. Or doing all sorts of other things. So because of all that I feel like sitting in a desk, answering phones is so not how I should be honoring him. And with all that I feel empowered and actually optimistic about the world.
I could be sad and I could be crying all day. But I’m choosing to do exactly what my brother would want. Which is to really live my life and be happy. I am planning exciting things for my life and I want to make them a reality. So I guess for now all I can do is plan. But that doesn’t take away the fact that today I want to be productive in my own life. So it’s looking like my channel will finally have a new video up!
Anyways, I hope you are all having a wonderful life. And as cliche as it is, you do only live once so enjoy it and live it to the fullest.
Much love always,