“What do you want to do?” A question we often hear when we are young and starting out our careers. Or a question often directed at kids who barely even know all the options the world has to offer. And a question I’ve struggled with for many years.
Growing up, I felt a strong sense of sureness and that I knew exactly where I wanted to go in life. I wanted to be happy, successful and love the job I did. And that was a good enough thing for me to believe for a long time. When i was applying to college, again a strong sense of sureness filled me and I knew I wanted something in Business. When I got to college was when every ounce of sureness I had, disappeared.
People wanted to know exactly what I wanted to do. They wanted a title to label me as. But the more I tried, the less I felt anything fit me. I was good at accounting but that lifestyle seemed incredibly boring to me. Finance made sense, sometimes. And Economics, forget about it, nothing about it made any sense to me. Yet I persevered and did my best to get a degree. When it came time to decide what I’d be graduating in, Marketing seemed like the logical answer. It had aspects of business, creativity and people all in one major. The field is also sooo extensive that it made sense. Really, it was my cop-out reasoning to not have to label myself specifically just yet. “It’s such a vast field, you can do a lot in it.” Was always my response when people asked me why I’d picked it. Truth be told, I was buying myself more time to figure out what I wanted. But even after finding my “label”, jobs within that field were “vast” that it made searches nearly unbearable. I couldn’t find anything I wanted to do, because it seemed a lot of Marketing jobs I found were clumped together with Sales. Sales and marketing are as different as apples and pears. Yet in the business world they are often clumped together because they’re “similar enough.”
Now, 2 and a half years after I’ve graduated I think I’m finally figuring out what I want. And as fully expected, it’s as unconventional as I am. From a young age, I’ve been very different from other people and I’ve always been fully okay with it. Self-doubt obviously comes with being human, but thankfully I’ve never disliked myself for being different. While young girls wanted to play with Barbies, I preferred playing mommy with baby dolls and with my dogs. While other girls wanted to be princesses, I wanted to be a vet then a model. When kids were ordering Happy Meals, I was ordering salads from McDonalds. I was never part of the cool kids in high school. And at 23, I love boy bands. Nothing about me has ever been stereotypical or traditional. So it came as no surprise that what I wanted to do was unconventional.
Driving home today thinking about my life and everything I love to do, I started to finally picture my life in a way I’d actually like to live it. I’ve realized planning events is something that will always give me gray hairs but will always bring me excitement and joy. And as much as I’ve abandoned recently my Youtube channel, making videos and feeling like what I have to say might actually mean something to some people, gives me great joy. So, I think the ideal job/life for me would be to do Event Planning part-time and Youtubing the other part. It would give me enough time to do both and I think would be the best of both worlds.
I’m really excited that I think I’m finally finding what I want to do and making goals for myself. Obviously the Youtube thing will only work if people are interested and care about what little old me has to say. But I’d like to at least try. So those are the thoughts running through my head today. I hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you think! Do you have any idea what you want? Any suggestions for me?
Much love as always!