If you know me in person, there is one thing I do that you probably have noticed and it probably bothers you. When I talk to people I never really look into their eyes, especially not if I’m saying something personal. While some consider this rude, I do have an explanation for it.
To me, eyes are a very special thing. Yes they provide you with eyesight and the ability to appreciate the world around you, but that is not what I’m here to talk about today.
Eyes can say so much about a person. You’ve probably heard the saying “the eyes are the window to the soul.” While many of you might consider it a stupid saying with no credibility, I strongly believe in it. And I don’t believe it because I think I can know everything about you by looking into your eyes. But eyes do tell stories.
What I think that saying refers to is a series of components that tell you a story. For example, when someone looks at someone else you can see if they’re happy, or sad or angry with that other person. They don’t have to say anything else, and you don’t have to look at any other part in their face except their eyes. You can read emotions through their eyes. Sometimes the eyes themselves tell stories. The glimmer in their eye can tell you about what their personality is like. I see more than just two eyeballs when I look at someone, I see who they are as a person.
For most of my life I’ve able to tell a lot about a story from the way people look at each other. I love to people watch mostly to try to read people and figure out their stories. Most recently I’ve joined the Game of Thrones cult and been watching the series. There are two characters who are madly in love, but I can tell so much about what the guy feels for the girl from simply the way he looks at her. There is obvious love, then there’s intrigue because he wants to get to know her better, there is respect, kindness and adoration. You may say I know all this from watching his interactions with her, but I can honestly say I concluded this from the first scene they had together on screen before I saw their story develop. And to be perfectly honest, the way they look at each other is my favorite part of their interactions, much more important than any word they could say. It is true that this is all acting, but for an actor to accomplish all of that from the way he looks at someone it’s a true talent.
Now going back to why I never like to look at people directly into their eye when they’re talking to me, it’s because I’m such a strong believer in the saying that I feel stripped of any barriers. When someone looks at me in the eyes, I feel naked. I feel like they can know everything about me by just looking into my eyes. They can see every thought, every feeling and every truth. Not that I lie to people or pretend to be someone I’m not, but there’s a certain level of openness allowed for every day interaction. So know that if I look at you straight into your eyes when you talk to me it’s because I trust you and I want you to truly know me.
I encourage you to look around you. Try to look at how someone is looking at that other person and try to read what is happening. Know that how you look at someone, says a lot about you. Use your eyes to show kindness and happiness. And the next time you see someone look away don’t automatically assume they’re lying to you, but instead try to make them feel comfortable enough to look you dead in the eyes.
As always much love,