Hello from the other side (sorry Adele is in my head),
Here are some of the things about relationships you miss most while being single. No one ever really wants to talk about, but I am here today to put it out in the open. And besties before you get defensive saying you can get these things from friendship, you and I know it’s not the same. Besties are great, but there are things that we all need from our partners.
1.The calming notion that you will always have someone there for you. Whether you want to call them at 4am, or whether you need someone in your corner you know that person will always be there for you. It doesn’t mean you’re actually going to call them at 4am but it’s nice to know you can. And while yes you have besties for that too, it’s different when it’s coming from someone who loves you in a romantic way, who wants to take care of you and who feels about you the same way you do them. I guess this ties into the basic instinct of security.
2.They’re the the first person you want to call with good news. And they’re also the first person you want to call with bad news. You want to share everything with that person, the good and the bad. When you’re excited about something you want to call them. When you’re sad, they know how to cheer you up or just comfort you. Sometimes they don’t even need to say anything, but a silent phone call can be the most comforting thing you need right now.
3.Embraces. Being the touchy feely person that I am, this is definitely the one I struggle with the most. Just hugging your partner. Or them holding you or cuddling you or just embracing you, there is so much comfort in that. I like to be held, to feel like that from a person who really wants to be with me and cares for me is the best feeling.
4.Actually physical contact in general. Holding hands, hugging, dancing, kissing, play fighting, basically anything that allows two people who care about each other to touch. But it’s different when it’s coming from your partner. It’s almost electric and ecstatic. You feel the happiness coming from the butterflies in the pit of your stomach to the overwhelming feeling of warmth in your heart.
5.Being in a relationship. I know this is an obvious one and maybe a cop out, but it’s true. I love my singlehood but sometimes I miss being in a relationship for all the reasons listed above and beyond. Like the way they look at you, or say something to you. Or the way they know what makes you laugh, or your favorite ice cream. Or having that person to hold your hand when your scared of life. Or knowing that nothing can be so bad as long as they’re with you. Or feeling so lucky to have found that person and to be part of that person’s life.
There are so many things that go into being in a relationship. Some are not so fun, and some are the best moments in life. For me the thing I struggle the most with is not being able to share my life with anyone right now. I love to travel and go on adventures, and as much as I adore going with my girls part of me does wish I was able to take one of those trips with someone I love romantically, to share that experience with my boyfriend.
Okay so for now I am done with my wallowing in my being single. I hope you know that this is part of life. And while I am choosing to be single (at least that’s what I tell myself, haha) I truly am happy about it. I know I need this time to explore the world by myself. And that soon enough that time to find someone will come. But for now, I’m good on my own, even if sometimes the loneliness kicks in and reminds me of all the things above.
Much love always,