If You Need a Little Help Today

Hello Everyone!

For me personally, I remember one quote that carries me through anything in life, “God doesn’t give you anything you can’t handle.” I think too often we underestimate our own strength. We give up too easily and we believe we are too weak to deal with life’s struggles. But keeping that one sentence in mind I am reminded constantly of how strong I actually am. And you don’t have to believe in God to believe in that sentence, because you can modify it to whatever your belief system is. But at the end of the day all that sentence is really saying is “you are stronger than what you think.” If you’re having a bad day, if you’re going through loss, or you are doubting yourself, just remember that you wake up every day, and you’ve dealt with everything life has thrown your way for the number of years you’ve been alive. Regardless if you’ve dealt with it well or not, you’ve survived it and that is saying something. So remember to always keep fighting and most importantly the biggest belief you need to have is in yourself. You live with yourself every day, and if you love yourself there is nothing you can’t get through. Trust yourself because you are your own hero/heroine. You keep yourself going every second, every minute, every day, every month, and every year. So when life gets tough, fight, fight for yourself. Because you have been doing a kick ass job until now and there is nothing you can’t get through. And at the end of the struggle hug yourself and celebrate (yeah, eat that pint of ice cream you’ve been running away from). Just remember to give yourself some love after the battle because you most certainly deserve it.

Much love always,

xx  

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Everything Takes Time

Hello Hello,

From pronouncing someone’s name right, to putting in your contacts, to getting over something or someone, it all takes time. More often than not, I hear from those that don’t wear contacts that they could never do it because they can’t stick their finger in their eyes.  Or, when someone breaks up with us, we think ‘how are we ever going to get over this?’ Or when you attempt something you are not very good at, and immediately feel discouraged. Or trying to find a place to live, yet nothing seems to be working out. Every single one of these tasks has one thing in common, they take time. Whether you need time to learn, time to heal or time to let things happen when they’re meant to, they all require patience.

Some skills are inherent and take no time at all to perfect for some people. For example, I was one of those people that couldn’t imagine sticking my finger in my eye to put in a contact. Now I do it almost daily twice a day, to put the contact in and take it out. Or for example, when I try to learn a new name by repeating the name out loud my brain records it and remembers for next time. But it takes practice. You need to work at it every day, because truly you can do anything with enough practice. Now, you may not do them all perfectly, I am yet to master the art of doing a cat eye, but you can do it. So next time you feel discouraged at not being able to do something, think of all the things you’ve learned how to do and how if you want to you truly can do anything. And on the days where you feel truly discouraged, remember that little baby you learned how to crawl, walk, talk, eat and do everything you do today. If that isn’t enough of an incentive at what an awesome person you are, I don’t know what is.

Allowing time to heal from any relationship, romantic or otherwise, is a difficult task. Because as time goes on you question the relationship, the people around you, that person, your actions and worse of all yourself. Time creates self-doubt, which can be detrimental. But time also gives you a chance to realize how incredible you actually are and to build yourself back up. And when you build yourself back up, you tend to build a stronger version of you. So instead of being bitter about a failed relationship, you should really thank them for breaking you apart. Because that allowed you to learn and build up a stronger version of yourself, a more compassionate, understanding, loving, and intelligent version of you. Always try to remember that everyone in your life has a purpose whether it’s to make you happy, teach you a lesson, give you experience, or to give you memories, they’re all there for a reason.

But perhaps the hardest one for me, is allowing time for things to happen at their natural course. As an impatient person and a bit of a control freak, letting things out of my hands and take their course has been the biggest lessons in my life. I’ve had to learn to let things go and have faith that it will work out when it’s meant to. And if you’re anything like me, that is something I have to work at every single day. But the result is so worth it. And so I encourage you to take some weight off your back and know that things will happen whether it’s the way you want to or not, and all you can do is be comforted in the fact that in the end everything works out.

So take your time, use it wisely and know that time is your friend. It is there to help you sort out things, to heal and teach you lessons. Life may seem really short, but if you just take a moment to realize that in one year alone there are 365 days, 8,760 hours, 525,600 minutes, 31,536,000 seconds, then you realize just how much time and how many moments you have in this life. Use that time wisely and know that everything takes its course and that time is on your side, not against you.

Much love always,

xx

 

 

We Should All Be Feminists

Hello Everyone,

A very popular conversation topic lately is Feminism. And that is wonderful! We have started talking about the issue. That is the first step. But now that we’ve started the conversation, we need to take action. First, I’d like for everyone to watch this video below. Men, women, boys and girls, and everyone in between needs to watch it.

 

Although this video talks about experiences in Nigeria, it rings true around the world. Women around the world feel this discrimination. Even in first world countries, the disrespect towards women is the exact same. I could talk on and on about this, but she did such a beautiful job of explaining that the message comes across loud and clear.

Most of the issues we have are from the lack of knowledge. Feminism used to be a word people hated because no one truly understood it’s meaning. Now people are starting to understand it’s not a negative word, but actually a very positive one. It is a word that promotes change and justice. It’s a word that fights for women to be treated as men’s equal. It’s a very important word.

I was lucky enough to grow up with strong women role models in my life. But equally as important, the men in my life never treated me inferior either. The women in my life showed me strong women willing to break stereotypes. My grandmother grew up in the generation where women were taught to be housewives, but she decided to be one of the few women judges and ended up becoming president of the court in her state. And my mother was always very successful, then gave up her career to take care of her children and is now pursuing her Masters degree. My cousin, unafraid of taking leaps moved to the US when we had no family here to go to college and make a life for herself here. Women in my life have shown me what true courage is and what it means to fight for what you want regardless of what society tells you. And the men in my life, have been the biggest supporters of anything we have wanted to do.

That has set me and my sister up for success. Because we have never been held back within our family to pursue our dreams or do things people claim to be for men. Which means we have also been taught how to treat our children, the future generation, how to be positive changes in the world. And honestly, that makes me really excited!

Much love always,

xx

PS- GO SWEDEN for making the book of this talk required reading for school. Now the rest of the world needs to get on board as well!

Different Type of Freedoms

Hello Hello,

As a child I always looked up to twenty-something year olds and imagined how put together they were. They always seemed older, wiser and it always fascinated me how free they were. Free from parents, free from school, freedom to do whatever they wanted. As a kid, that kind of freedom was the dream. They always seemed so amazing and so out of reach. I couldn’t wait to become one of them.

Young me always imagined being married by 23 and having kids by 25. To me grocery shopping, paying bills and having my own house seemed exciting. What young me didn’t realize was how crazy that actually seems at 25.

At 25 I couldn’t imagine myself being married or having kids anytime soon. Inside, I still feel like a kid. Sometimes, I like to think of what young me expected of people my age and I laugh because to me now that seems so crazy. But also, it’s what I now see in thirty-something year olds. They seem to have a grip on life, and to have things more together than I do now. And truth is, at thirty-something, I will probably be saying the same thing.

At 25 I imagine how carefree I was as a child. How liberating it was to not have responsibilities, to not have people depending on you, where doing the wrong thing was okay because you were just a kid and you didn’t know any better. As a kid, recess and nap time were not only acceptable but things that were important enough for your growth to be included in school. Now, we don’t do that because we are too busy rushing through life. Whenever I get the chance, I try to remember that carefreeness of being a child and give myself a few minutes to live in that state of mind.

As a kid, you never imagine how much different life will actually turn out to be than what you expect. And as an adult, you remember how silly it was to think the things you did when you were young. At 25, I am nowhere near as mature, settled, and confident as I thought I would be. And I am nowhere near having life figured out as much as I imagined I would be. But the great thing is life has different stages of freedom.

As a young kid, you are free from responsibilities, or should I say burdens, bills, tough decisions, and relationships. As a kid, all you’re expected to do is enjoy your childhood, make friends and be happy. As an adult you have the freedom to spend your money however you would like. You are free to do whatever you want as long as you’re aware of the consequences. You are free to follow any dream you desire, as long as you truly believe in yourself. And my favorite, you are free to go anywhere that money can buy.

I’m sure the next stage of my life will bring me new freedoms, but it’s important to never forget your past freedoms too. Because those past freedoms have allowed you to not only enjoy each phase of your life, but also learn from them. So take whatever freedom you have right now and use it to its full capacity because you only have right now.

Much love always,

xx

PS- Take a minute and think back to what you thought you were going to be like at the age you are now. How close are you? Are you happy with  how close or different you are? If not, are you going to do anything to change? Leave a comment below letting me know!

Thank You!

Today is the one day a year where we focus on appreciating everything we have and the people we have in our lives. While we should do this everyday,  I want to take a minute to just say thank you. Thank you to my family for being the best support group I could ask for. Thank you to my friends for indulging me in my adventures and ideas,  and for being there for me. Thank you to you,  whether you read this blog everyday or just once. Thank you to those who have passed away for loving me and now watching over me from a distance. Thank you God for being there when I need to talk,  and for always giving me new lessons and so many blessings.  Every single one of you had a meaning and a place in my heart, and I am grateful to you all. Thank you for loving me too.

Much love always,

Xx

We’re Never Truly Alone

Hello Everyone,

In my life I’ve had the pleasure of knowing some people that unfortunately are no longer with me. I know this is true for many people around us, whether we know it or not. It’s not until you lose someone that you start to notice just how beautifully strong people around us are, because they continue on with life and live happy lives. You would never even know they lost someone until they tell you. I know this, because that’s how I live my life.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t do it because I’m in denial or it didn’t phase me. Not at all, I’ve been devastated every time I lose someone I love. But living a sad life is not at all what they would want for me. So I live a happy life for me and for them. And even more importantly, I do it because I know I may not be able to see them but they never truly leave me. They’re always around guiding me, protecting me and letting me know how much I am loved.

To all my loved ones who have passed on, to all my loved ones here who hurt every day for the ones they’ve lost, to anyone who needs a little reminding that those who we love and lose never truly leave us, I dedicate to you this beautiful dance.

Bindi Irwin performed this for her late father but it is true for any of us who’ve lost someone. And she also reminds us to always be kind to everyone and to live positive meaningful lives.

Much love always,

xx

America Land of the Free?

Hello,

Okay, today’s post is going to be a bit more serious because I’ve been seeing things on the news that quite frankly are pissing me off.

If you ask any American where they’re from they will most likely say something like Irish, English, French, Italian, etc. More often than not they will state their heritage and not the state which they’re from. That always boggled my mind. Because when you ask me where I’m from, I’ll tell you where I was born, Brazil, or where I live, Boston. But for some reason, unknown to me, Americans rarely say America or the state from which they are from.

But now, we are facing a huge issue where we are forgetting to recognize something very important. Hundreds of years ago, people from all over Europe, and the world really, wanted to go to a place where they could be free from any kind of persecution and they all landed here. America was founded on immigrants. People came together from all over the world, took a land that was inhabited by the Native Americans and started their own country. None of the founding fathers were born in America, they were all immigrants.

Most came to America to find refuge from religious and political persecution. Since then, America has always been associated with freedom and a better life. Except it seems that in the last few years that’s exactly what we haven’t been doing. Don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful that as an immigrant myself I get to call this land home. And that they accepted me with open arms. But so many can’t say the same.

But even more importantly, the world truly needs us now more than ever and our political leaders refuse to see it. There are countries in the middle east truly suffering from terrorist attacks, and those people have been fleeing to save their families and their own lives. They have found refuge all over Europe. European countries have opened their arms to those people, offered them a home and a better life without a second thought. Why can’t we?

Why are we trying to get a “religious test” to approve who gets in? I say it again, weren’t we founded on freedom, from any kind of persecution? And if I’m not mistaken that covers religious persecution, something they’re all facing and we are trying to impose. Why are people refusing to give others what their ancestors received first?

Let’s stand with Obama and show the other political leaders that we won’t accept this. Let’s remind them what it truly means to be an American. Let’s open our arms and homes to the Syrian refugees and other refugees that need our help. I know there logistics to figure out and, as always, money issues to be considered, but don’t let that prevent us from saving lives. There are innocent children caught in the middle this as much as the adults just trying to live. Let our voices be heard and let our home become a safe house for them. Let’s remind the world that we are known as the land of the free for a reason

Much love always,

xx

 

You Don’t Have To Grow Up

Hello Hello,

So a few months ago I was celebrating my little cousin’s birthday and I told him “Don’t Grow Up. I mean it. Stay a kid forever.” And at that time, that made me so sad. And then today I thought to myself “I don’t want to be an adult anymore.” And that’s when it hit me, I don’t have to be.

Now, don’t get me wrong for certain parts of your life you do have to be an adult. Being responsible, paying bills, being mature about situations and all that stuff requires a certain level of maturity that adults have. But inside, you can absolutely be a kid.

You can be carefree and happy about life. As a child life is simple, you don’t care about anything. And that is a mentality you can keep going. While life is a lot more complicated and messy as a grown up, the mentality of not sweating the small stuff can really help you be happier. And that is definitely something we could all use a little more in our life.

We also don’t really care what others think of us when we’re young. We haven’t yet let comments start affecting how we see ourselves and how we act. But I say, screw that! Be silly, dance in public, make stupid jokes and just don’t be afraid to be 100% you. People will always judge and make comments, so the more we realize that, the more okay we’ll be to do what we want.

The simple things used to make your day. Like having ice cream, or a nice word from someone. Let those things be enough today too. Let a smile from someone brighten your day. Or helping someone bring you joy. Sure, the big things are memorable and amazing. But those happen a lot less often than small simple things. And when you look back at your day, what you typically remember is how one small act of kindness made an impact on your day. Life is made of the small moments, so make sure you don’t miss them.

Growing up is overrated. Stay a kid at heart. Laugh til it hurts. Jump for joy in the middle of a candy store. Offer a nice word to a stranger. Stop caring what others have to say about you. Because the only opinion that matters is what you think of yourself, and if you’re happy with who you are, then the rest is irrelevant. Don’t grow up inside, because being a kid at heart might make you happier than you ever could be as an adult.

Much Love Always,

xx

Dear One Direction,

My Dearest One Direction,

Today’s the day. Friday the 13th. The day of release of your last album, for now. I want to believe very much so that this is not the end. That we’ll get more CDs and more tours and more of your silly interviews. But the future is never sure, and that’s a little sad. So on this day I wanted to write this letter.

Finding out about you 5 years ago was one of the best things to happen to me. Liking a band a few years younger than me has taught me valuable lessons. Constantly being judged for it, taught me not to care what others said. It has taught me to be secure in the things I like, and even more so, be proud of it. We all like different things and I will stand with the ones I like.Most people don’t understand why I love you guys so much, and trying to explain it to them is just impossible because there is no right words to use to explain it.

Your concerts are some of the best I’ve ever attended and I remember each one so fondly. More than that, every concert was an adventure. Whether I saw you in Detroit as the opening act to BTR, or in Chicago or in Louisville at Madison Square Garden, every single concert has a story. I have made great friends through our mutual like of you.

Each of you staying true to who you are, has reminded me constantly to not be afraid to be 100% me. You’ve reminded me to have fun with my life and to seek out adventures. You also helped me figure out how much I would love to be a part of a team that puts together these events that bring people so much joy through music.

Writing every memory I have with you guys would take pages and pages. I think everything I’m thinking and feeling can be summed up with what you say every time you get on stage, Thank You!

Thank you for the music. Thank you for the laughs. Thank you for the smiles. Thank you for the words of encouragement, when life got too much. Thank you for reminding me I am beautiful. Thank you for being true to yourselves and to us. Thank you for everything.

My friends who are also fans, understand what an emotional day today is for all of us. I will not be sobbing insanely like the really obsessive Directioners, but the feelings will be the same. I will not be “dying” today, but I will miss you. I will not be “I can’t even”, wait, actually I might be “can’t even.” I understand the feelings, but I will deal with today on my own terms.

I will always support the four of you and will be anxiously awaiting your return. Although I will understand if that doesn’t happen or only happens in 10 years. Thank you for everything and I wish you all nothing but the best, always.

Much love always.

xx

PS- This album may just be your best one ever. And I can’t promise I won’t get really emotional hearing History.

Being Single Sucks Sometimes

Hello from the other side (sorry Adele is in my head),

Here are some of the things about relationships you miss most while being single. No one ever really wants to talk about, but I am here today to put it out in the open. And besties before you get defensive saying you can get these things from friendship, you and I know it’s not the same. Besties are great, but there are things that we all need from our partners.

1.The calming notion that you will always have someone there for you. Whether you want to call them at 4am, or whether you need someone in your corner you know that person will always be there for you. It doesn’t mean you’re actually going to call them at 4am but it’s nice to know you can. And while yes you have besties for that too, it’s different when it’s coming from someone who loves you in a romantic way, who wants to take care of you and who feels about you the same way you do them. I guess this ties into the basic instinct of security.

2.They’re the the first person you want to call with good news. And they’re also the first person you want to call with bad news. You want to share everything with that person, the good and the bad. When you’re excited about something you want to call them. When you’re sad, they know how to cheer you up or just comfort you. Sometimes they don’t even need to say anything, but a silent phone call can be the most comforting thing you need right now.

3.Embraces.  Being the touchy feely person that I am, this is definitely the one I struggle with the most. Just hugging your partner. Or them holding you or cuddling you or just embracing you, there is so much comfort in that. I like to be held, to feel like that from a person who really wants to be with me and cares for me is the best feeling.

4.Actually physical contact in general. Holding hands, hugging, dancing, kissing, play fighting, basically anything that allows two people who care about each other to touch. But it’s different when it’s coming from your partner. It’s almost electric and ecstatic. You feel the happiness coming from the butterflies in the pit of your stomach to the overwhelming feeling of warmth in your heart.

5.Being in a relationship. I know this is an obvious one and maybe a cop out, but it’s true. I love my singlehood but sometimes I miss being in a relationship for all the reasons listed above and beyond. Like the way they look at you, or say something to you. Or the way they know what makes you laugh, or your favorite ice cream. Or having that person to hold your hand when your scared of life. Or knowing that nothing can be so bad as long as they’re with you. Or feeling so lucky to have found that person and to be part of that person’s life.

There are so many things that go into being in a relationship. Some are not so fun, and some are the best moments in life. For me the thing I struggle the most with is not being able to share my life with anyone right now. I love to travel and go on adventures, and as much as I adore going with my girls part of me does wish I was able to take one of those trips with someone I love romantically, to share that experience with my boyfriend.

Okay so for now I am done with my wallowing in my being single. I hope you know that this is part of life. And while I am choosing to be single (at least that’s what I tell myself, haha) I truly am happy about it. I know I need this time to explore the world by myself. And that soon enough that time to find someone will come. But for now, I’m good on my own, even if sometimes the loneliness kicks in and reminds me of all the things above.

Much love always,

xx